I've got skills.....

Today I practiced my blonde skills.  I always lock every single lock and put chairs and tables in front of the door when Del travels - I'm a freaking scaredy cat.  Ya - I might look all mean and stuff - but inside - just a bunch of fluff and fright.  I always sleep with every single light on too.  The TV must be going, and I always eat waffles.  Ok - so now you know.  My skills came into play tonight when I looked at the door knob going to the garage.  Del has some fancy scmancy door lock going on there because of his garage obsessions.  I swear I'm my mom - but I've never REALLY looked at this door knob closely.  But last night I locked it and thought it was strange that the knob twisted on the inside - but was obviously locked on the outside (leading into the garage from the living room).  I ran out for a second to the garage and the door shut behind me - locking me inside the garage.  Now remember, the toys are out there, so that also means that there is industrial sized locking devices on the big garage door.  There I was - locked in the garage - phone inside on the counter - husbands plane not in for 5 more hours.  First - I blamed Del for buying such a stupid door knob. That at least made me feel a little better.  (:  Then I thought of yelling - well - like anyone would hear me - not.  I considered cleaning the garage for a few hours.... it's spotless - remember it's Del's world out there.  I pondered defrosting the freezer?  I even ventured into the forbidden land of:  Taking a nap in the Viper?  But with certain death to follow if I chose the latter option I decided on escaping.  Behind the Tools of the Trade that my husband has is a small window.  I knew I could get out of the window if I could just get to it.  After finding several things to stack, and pulling up the 20 year old, never been opened blind... I decided that it would be better if I froze to death in the garage than to pass through the spider webs, bug carcasses, and unknow creatures huddled in the corners of the window frame.  I felt like my options were limited - so I tried to remember what the spiders looked like so I could tell the Emergency Room doctor after I had been bitten, and I jumped out the window.  (at this time I'm seriously laughing because all I can think about is Ace Ventura - Pet Detective - when he's trying to climb out of the butt end of the rino.... ya - you know what I'm talking about)  Never the less - I did it - found the hidden key hidden under the "the hidden key to the house is under here" rock and let myself in the front door.  About an hour later a spider web breezed off of the back of my sweatshirt and touched me on the cheek...... screamed like a sissy.  When Del arrived home - I told him about his stupid door knob - and he reminded me - I was blonde.  Good times... what a pretty spider....