Working on that Very Merry....

Well, I have no pictures - but I have thoughts, lots and lots of thoughts.  It's Christmas Eve... in the next room my return Missionary sleeps - safely home, finally.  My grand-kids are sleeping safely in the same state I'm in.  My son Matt and his beautiful wife Bethany are all snuggled up warm.  Preggo Mandy and hubby Ryan are close by.  One would think that this is picture perfect.  It is on so many millions of levels.  But it isn't on one big one.  My daughter Ashley is glued to a phone in one hand and a huge Costco sized box of Kleenexes in the other. There was a pain in her heart that I cannot even begin to describe when I peeked in on her as she talked to him  Not everyone is snuggled down safely together tonight - and with one hour left... it's almost past, and in 25 more hours it's going to be over.... the last time that her handsome soldier will be gone for a Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  I know I should be celebrating SO MANY BLESSINGS (and I really am!!!) - but my heart still reserves the right to miss the only member of our family not here.  We are so close to that family picture - where everyone is holding on tight to each other.  Secrets out now... but I drew Mike's name for our gift exchange.  We always e-mail out a little list of fun things under our amount we've set to give clues for the givers.  What could I possibly send him?  Courage?  Nope - has tons of that.  Patience... are you kidding?  Hope.... I always send him that.  Love.... he hears her voice every day.  He asked for a blanket and a pillow.  When I saw his list - my soul changed.  We really need so little in this world - a little warmth, a little courage, an ample supply of hope, a little patience, and a huge amount of LOVE.   There will be no little noises of hushing in the morning as little feet tiptoe to the tree to see what's there.  It's  awful to be an adult and know that Santa has many other places to be, except your house this year.  So, instead of  boxes of things, I pray that my children will know of my never ending, tender, sincere love I have for them.  Here's wishing all of my beautiful children LOVE, on this Christmas.  Love for each other - the kind that cannot be lost no matter the miles between us.  "I'll be home for Christmas - if only in my dreams."  ... for just one last time.  (Then no body in my family can go away again ok?)  (or very far at least) (:  Watch over our Soldiers - keep their Mother's, wife's and children gently under God's tender watch.  Merry Christmas  Mr. Hillary, Matt, Bethany, Andy, Em, Ashley, Mike, Zoey, Mandy, Ryan, Somebody Lincoln Merriman, Ryan.  Merry Christmas Mom and Dad, Eric, Terri, Betsy, David, Charlie, Tyler, Brandon, Heidi, Kate, Erin.  You are my world, my greatest gifts.

** Missionary coming home post - to come - holy cow - we've been freaking busy.....""

Yellow ribbons....

 Well - I bought them a month ago... I've looked at them a million times since... and now it's time to put them up.  I've been trying to reflect over the past 2 years, and the events leading up to this day.  I'll miss Sunday night e-mail's and Monday afternoon return e-mails.  I'll really miss the Postal workers in Sandy - who have laughed so hard at the way my packages look when I mail them.  They kept reminding me that they are actually suppose to be flat or remain in somewhat of a square shape.  I'll miss literally standing by the mailbox on Thursdays, just in case he was able to get a letter out while doing laundry on P-day.  But I think I'll live - since it will be so much more fun just walking into the next room and having one of our great conversations.  I don't know if you remember Ryan's voice at all - I do - because before he left he left me a message on my cell phone - a long message about why he was going - and how I was to stay strong, about his love for his mom - and then he bore his testimony to me.  All recorded - played back over and over again.  Don't know if I'll ever actually take it off of there.  I have appreciated those that have written to him - he had a lonely mailbox for a while - but my ward and my family - have been wonderful, you were much appreciated.  I am reminded of a good Mission President - President and Sister Walker - who were truly inspired in many ways, and who I hope will keep Elder Hillary in their memories somewhere.  Lucky for me I was able to hear about some 'amazing' companions... Especially Elder Edmunds (who will be returning to the BYU Football team soon!), Elder Cortez, and many more.  Your smiling faces will adorn a Missionary Scrapbook - that hopefully will be completed before Ryan's children go on their missions!  We have been blessed with those that have come into his life, Elizabeth, Jessica, Lucy, Stephanie, Rustin, Vicky... and many others - that have listened to the messages of hope and love - and have welcomed Elder H (Bashful) into their lives.  I  personally have been able to be sustained many days and nights over the course of the years by the sweet Spirit of the Holy Ghost - comforted through times where I just could not find the answers or the way or the days or weeks or months were just too long.  I try to look at myself spiritually - have I improved at all?  Am I the kind of mom that can welcome back into my home his amazing spirit?  I hope so - since my best friend is the Lord, I think I've kept good company over time.  There will be much adjusting, many stories to tell, several bowls of cereal consumed at one sitting, and of course.... movies and technology gadgets to catch up on.  What I look forward to?  Looking at those eyes again - one green, one blue.  I certainly will be checking out those scars from the hospital trip from a couple of years ago and getting a full update on his health.  I will absolutely enjoy kneeling in prayer with him again.  I will sit back over the holidays and watch my children gather again, to see their love and respect for each other.  His siblings and in law-siblings are a huge support system to each other.  It will be good to see him as as adult... he left just a mere 19 year old - and this past week became legal - to drink eggnog - (sorry - Ashley said the rum was gone).  There will be challenges ahead for him.... we'll be holding our first annual "BYU Tuition Bakesale"  You are all welcome to come over and I'll make waffles for at least 2,200 people at a dollar a waffle... (:  I will be looking forward to seeing him hold his Grandmother and Grandfather in his arms again.  They both tried their best to make it until he came home - they were troopers in every way.  I am proud of this kid.  The world stands before you ready to be explored and made a better place.   You have certainly Returned With Honor - and as tacky as that line is, it's almost a rarity in the world today.  Thank you Elder Hillary - for being that warrior.  Tomorrow at 3 you will be released from being a Missionary - that will be a hard moment in time - for you have come to live and love it.  The next missionary in our family will be Andrew.... or.... maybe even me.  (:  I am grateful for all of the prayers of love guidance and protection in Elder Hillary's behalf.  The tender mercies of the Lord is evident in every way.  I'm off to put a few ribbons up - and find my Kleenexes..... Has anyone seen an airport?  Mandy??  Welcome Home Elder Hillary - my countdown on my blog is now complete as of tonight.... Hum.... might have to start another one..... any suggestions Ashley?  

Leggo My Preggo

Ya - my baby is having a baby.  But for today - let's celebrate her 23rd Birthday!!  My amazing daughter in law Bethany always posts the cutest posts about her kids - and lists things that they can do and fun facts about them.... Maybe I could think of a few... hum.....

1.  Pregg-o

2.  Nutts-o

3.  Bake-o freak

4.  Spiritual-o

5.  Kind-o

6.  Beautifulish-o

7.  Cook-o - (different from Bake-o freak)

8.  Support your local Law Student/Wife-o

9.  BYU-o

10.Faithful-o

11. Musical-o

12. Can't let her near an open wind-o in a car.

13.  Naming the child Jaffar-o

14. Can go almost 5 minutes before having to (yet again) pee-o

15. Hard worker-o

16. Prayerful-o

17. Owns awesome In-Law-o's

18. Incredible Seester-o

19. Holds the record in loudest burp-o (ever)(it's just a phenomenon)

20. Already a beautiful sweet tender mommie-o

21. Know's all of the Utah Jazz-o's

22. One of my 4 favorite kidd-o's

23. And just for you Ryan M - my Number One Punker-o...... (:

Have a beautiful day doing your 'audit' at Noodles... tee hee.. and remember the precious soul you are.  Beauty that is found inside and out is priceless - rare - and yet is found in abundance with you.  You are so very loved by your family.  You are a wonderful sister, aunt, grand-daughter, and especially daughter.  Soon, you'll be a mom - and you'll know the love you can have for a child is unexplainable - and strong. May your 23rd year on this earth - be as outstanding as the previous 22.... Much Love - Oh Happy Day Mandy.... xoxo Mom = Bob

Last born....is 21 OMGOSH (I had him when I was 12)

Well - this isn't a very good Happy Birthday picture - but I need to remind myself what a miracle he continues to be.  A month before he was to leave to go to Mexico - his lung collapsed.  I never dreamed he would serve.  But serve he has.  I posted this picture because - even only after 2 months of being out on a mission - he'd grown up.  Today - he turns 21.  More mature than ever, in fact - almost able to jump tall buildings... depends on who is chasing him at the time.  This is my youngest - my babe.  He is the one that made sure that everyone came to earth safely before he took his turn.  Although all of my children are strong - willed, spirited, and purpose embedded into their hearts.... this one is tender.  His soul is different.  For his birthday - he gets to return home from his well served mission - his dream - completed.  It seems that he didn't need that part of his lung to keep going - just a huge heart.  Today I just wanted to say Happy Birthday Son... you have brought joy, you bring joy, and you will continue to share joy in our family.  So many dreams ready to happen for you - and for your hard work.  Will it be easy?  Heck no... it's life - life is tough.  But to stand at this door of being 21, home from a mission, school waiting to start, and a solid testimony of the gospel... it's all the makings of an 'Oh Happy Day'.  Now git yer cute little fanny butt home and let me pinch you.  Gosh - we're lovin' ya Ryan!  Happy Birthday - 21 - legal - in most all states... sweet.

What's around your tree this year?

Last night Mr. Hillary was invited to play at a benefit in SLC.  It was a project carried on by the West Valley Police/Fire/Rescue Departments held at Granger High.  The students there also were involved, of which I was so impressed with each of them.  This 16 year old tradition involves feeding all of the elderly people from ALL of the assisted living centers in the area.  I counted 20 long, long tables full of sweet wrinkly smiles.  Turkey, dressing, salad, beans, punch and a huge cookie were provided.  During their meal Mr. Hillary's band played some great Dixieland music, Christmas Carols and some memorable toe tappers for their guests of honor.   Students encouraged some dancing and the floor filled with canes, wheelchairs and jitterbug wannabes.... Each service department came dressed to the hilt and served their dinner with kindness and respect.  There were tears in their eyes as they returned to the kitchen to take out over 250 plates of food.  I couldn't just sit there so I started helping - and filling water cups, and serving food and taking in their amazing stories.  I almost didn't make it there last night - I had ran to the temple and the roads were crowded, and the time was short, but somehow things worked out perfectly.  I'm having a difficult year this year - financially it's tough and my spirits are down.  But Sunday I told the story of that which is under your tree is not as important as what surrounds your tree.  Priceless family, Returning Grandbabies, someone Returning with Honor days before Christmas.  Believe me - I work Black Friday in a Retail store - I sat in my department as the doors opened and I watched the rampage.  I burst into tears.  That particular day I was just hoping to be able to just get some milk at the store.  So I decided that you are just as happy as you make yourself out to be... being there last night, with those that have NOBODY coming for Christmas, I decided to add them 'around my tree'. This year I get a son home - but our family is still incomplete, as Mike is serving far way in the military.  One day - we'll all be together again I know it.  I thought of all of the years I try to trim my tree to make it look beautiful.  This year - I thought - hey - I decorated my tree for 27 years now - I think I'll make a change - so I brought all of my 4th of July stuff up and made some ornaments from paper and glitter (it looked like a 2nd grade art project gone bad), and I made a Mike tree.  I'll miss you this year - but you need to know that I'm honoring you... even with glitter on most of my fingers still.  My father is in a rest home - has been for many years.  I am certain that sweet people drop in to see him and sing to him, and bring him glittered cards.  I wanted to return the favor last night.  I sat by a lady - she was so sad... pretty soon she was tapping her toes and telling me stories.  She touched me on the arm and said - this is the Merriest Christmas I've had in a long time.   I believe she meant it.  Luella, I know you're out there... I know you exist.  You are now around my Christmas tree.  Best part of the night?  I got to go home with the hottest man in the band... What's around your tree this year?  At my house, it's love.  Isn't that how it was a long time ago around a manger?

Missionary Mom

TEN

Never thought I would post that number.

It's what's left.

Only ten days left to be a Missionary Mom.

My last letter goes out this week.

Some worries will end, some begin.

I will love to kneel with him in prayer again.

I can reach way way up, and actually touch

him on the cheek instead of brushing my

hand past his picture.

I can hear his voice again - oh how I've missed it.

I will hear his testimony.

Strong and True.

He will be released from his calling... with tears

no doubt...

My four children will finally be together again

for a moment in time,

that I will cherish.

My heart cannot contain the joy.

My grattitude to God,

is endless, and emotional.

It's the second time I've welcomed

a son home - it doesn't get easier

to let them go

but the obedience they show,

and the strength they develop,

and the selflessness they show,

is etched upon my heart.

I am - for 10 more days

A Missionary Mom

Please Kids?

Seriously kids, do you think that you could possibly

arrange a time for the 4 freaking spawns of the family
to get together for a new sibling rivalry picture over the holidays??

If not - I'm going to start posting the REAL ones....
Let's start with Matt...

FREE PHOTOGRAPHER NEEDED
We're all broke.

51-ish

  Fifty-one

is....

• The code for international direct dial phone calls to Peru
• The model number of the P-51 Mustang WWII fighter aircraft
• Area 51, a parcel of U.S. military-controlled land in southern Nevada, apparently containing a secret aircraft testing facility
• Part of the title of a collection of stories by Lord Dunsany, Fifty-One Tales
• Washington D.C. and Puerto Rico often mentioned as the future "51st State"
• "51st anniversary" song by Jimi Hendrix
• "Come in Number 51, Your Time is Up" song by Pink Floyd
• Bob Dylan: Highway 51 Blues and the name of a band
• The Parker 51, introduced in 1941, may well be the most famous fountain pen ever made
• A brand of pastis (anise liqueur) manufactured by Pernod Ricard
• Pixar's film Cars tells about a rookie racecar, Lightning McQueen who crashes into Radiator Springs, a town on Highway 66. There, he meets the town's doctor & judge, Doc Hudson, a royal blue 1951 Hudson Hornet. Later, he (Doc) turns out to be a retired racecar himself. (Fabulous Hudson Hornet). As a racecar, his racing number was 51. 51 is also on Doc's licence plate (51HHMD).
• "Cachaça 51" is the brand name of a cachaça produced by a Companhia Müller de Bebidas in Pirassununga, São Paulo, Brasil.
• The '51 is a guitar made by Fender's second brand, Squier. It is notable for being one of only a few original models produced by the marque.
• The number of the French department Marne
• Suda51 is the nickname of Goichi Suda, the CEO of Grasshopper Manufacturer.
• Year identifier used on motor vehicles registered in the UK between 1 September 2001 and 28 February 2002
• The station number and apparatus numbers from the TV series Emergency!
• On Dec 3, 1959, Fred and June brought their baby girl into the world.  Hey - that's ME! (:  Thanks for all the sweetness from my family today - lucky me. 

I think Dorothy's house just flew by my window...

Today the world is in a storm fury.

It's cold, and foreboding.

Graveyard week at work doesn't help much..

Missing my kids

(can you hear the poor me?) (WAA!)

Then I looked at my daughter Mandy's blog

and found this:

...and the sun came out - and the birds were singing,

and I found joy.

In 114 days I get to hold this little handsome boy.

To tell him that I've been waiting for him forever.

To promise him that he is always going to be loved.

Then the music of Mandy's blog came on,

it was from Collective Soul the song was....

ADORED.

And so you are...

I feel the warmth of God on my face,

and in my heart.

I am reminded of the miracle of life,

and love,

and children.

Today I'm thankful.

Just Thankful.

Get the heck out of here...

... and have some fun...

you both deserve it!

fresh from the airport - both exhausted

but you wouldn't know that 'cuz

I'm just seein' those smiles.

30 Daze

Yesterday on my countdown it said 30 days and so many minutes and so many seconds.... so it wasn't actually 30 days - so I had to wait and post this at 11:59 which is as close as I could post to 30 days left.  It use to be years, then a year, then months, and now days... slow and sure.  He's fought a long battle, he's won some and lost some, but returns with honor in my eyes.  Leaving a sweet trail of memories - and years, almost 2 years.  I ache for the day I get to hug him.  Yet I will linger a bit in thought for that last day of being a Missionary Mom, and the blessings that  have accompanied that honor.  It's like - I've done all that I'm suppose to do on the Mommy list - all the kids in the temple, the 3 that are married have been married in the temple, the son's that belong to Heavenly Father have served their missions.  What does the mommy do now?  She gets a new name.... Nana, and the fun continues.  Now that you've read this it's 29:somethin somethin.... and counting.  (could a mom love her kids more?  nope)

D.W.T.S. = Don't Watch This Season

Be afraid, very afraid

I smell tea a brewin'

(and it's sour)

Pistol Bristol is on the wolf hunt.

I hope Glen Beck's children

aren't on next season.

I seriously thought I was watching

the biggest loser...

(oh wait - I am!)

ew... please - bring in the clowns


OH WAIT - I am thankful for...
(because I have to be thankful for something)
the freedom to vote.
And to rig that vote if needed.
Do you want lemon with that tea?

HOT topics of Gratitude...

Michael is a given name that comes from the Hebrew: מִיכָאֵל / מיכאל‎ (Mikha'el), derived from the Hebrew question מי כמו אלוהים? My Kmo Alohim? meaning "Who is like God?"^[1] In English, it is sometimes shortened to Mike, Mikey, or, especially in Ireland, Mick. Today it's for "M"y GOSH - he's home on leave - (thank you spirit in the sky)

 (Ashley - be gentle on him...)

Ryan is a common Irish surname, as well as being a common given name.

There are several possible origins for the surname. In certain cases it can be a simplified from of Mulryan. In some cases the surname may be derived from the Irish Gaelic Ó Riagháin (modern Irish Ó Riain), meaning "descendant of Rian"; or Ó Maoilriain "descendant of Maoilriaghain", or Ó Ruaidhín "descendant of the little red one".  The old Gaelic personal name Rian is of uncertain origin. It may be derived from the Gaelic rí, meaning "king". Today - it means Happy Birthday!!!

(Mandy... Ginger baby proof?)

I knew that when I had my daughters that I would one day pray that they would be tenderly cared for and loved forever.  Lucky for me (and for them) they found their soul mates - and they are divine....  Never have I questioned their choices, never have I loved two handsome gentlemen so much, never did I know I would see the kind of love they have for my baby girls.  I think that we need to just start dropping that 'in-law' part - because these two - are my sons.  Welcome Home Mike (a most excellent soldier), and Happy Birthday Ryan (a most excellent law student)  Yer Bob - loves you.

Lots o' Thankfuls all squished into one....

Well - although out of order - I will post some weekend adventures.
First - you take this....

and turn her into this....

  Ashley has been modeling for Urban Talent for a couple of years now.  A couple of weeks ago she was the Grand Finale Model at Park City wearing this dress.  The artist actually painted this dress - and then hair and make-up artist matched the picture on the dress.  This past week they invited the same artist to Trolley Square for a sneak peak of this amazing work.  It was amazing to see her in this mode - she was graceful and absolutely beautiful.  The dress itself weighs about 30 pounds, with the hoop skirt underneath, and all of that hair - WOW - it took all of her amazing strength to just walk the walk.  Never the less - she received the greatest applause - and the ooohs and awwww's were loud and long.  Way to go Ashley!

 Park City Show...
and then
The Trolley Square Show

Seriously - don't you think she looks just like her parents?

Not to forget some Friday Night fun...

My (beautiful)(one of several) Niece Erin
is a Cheerleader for Mountain Crest.

Their football team were playing in the state
playoff games at the U of U.
She is a Senior this year...

and is just as cute as can be.....

I actually went to just see her -
but apparently there was an incredible

underdog team (Mountain Crest) vs the
Super Dawgs (Bountiful).

The papers had Bountiful winning everything...
but Mountain Crest kept up with them and the
outcome left the Bountiful Braves crying on

the bus ride home.... so sad.  whaddeva....

It was SO fun being there with
my Brother, his cute wife and my

MOM - and it was freaking cold....

Party continues this Friday... Go Mustangs

Wait - I'm from Sky View - what do I care -

I'll just cheer for the cheerleaders

Erin - of course is the Red Headed - orange bowed - babe.

Love love love her.
Afterwards I took my mom up to Cache Valley,
via her first In and Out adventure,
listening to the Jazz Game,
throwing fries all over the car excited,
kinda ride home.  Perfect.

... and this one - only has 5 e-mails left and

then I get him home.... We have him in disguise...

because he's so cute - people will be jealous....

These two are holding out on a secret
BOY name - punkers..

 

And these two .... well - eat your hearts out.
(Thanks Matt and Bethany for these angels)

Grateful for a weekend of good times.
Grateful for my little tiny world.
Grateful that I found the
Almond Joy - Trick or Treat
candy bars... hidden for a
later date.... mmmm

Thankful for miles...

Just a quick thankful note

before I move forward into this day....

I'm thankful that as of this moment my mom

lives at least 150 miles away

or I would kill her.  I love her.... 

just can't get through to her.

Horrible Horrible Horrible disease called

'old age' it killing her - and me.

 Please remember that the contract

for me being hit by a fast moving semi

at the age of 65 (or sooner if needed)

is under my mattress.....  (loff you mom)

Keeping track of my Veterans

Mike said my picture I posted on Facebook was depressing.... sorry.  Just wanted to capture somethin' sweet.  He likes this one though - so I'll honor him today with using something he likes... this picture and my daughter.  Missin' him something awful - praying for him EVERYDAY.  Can there be any greater sacrifice??  There had to exist a great bond between these two before any of this could happen.  It's even stronger now.  Oh the stories they'll tell their ginger babied Tommy Hawkers.  Mike we miss your massive presence in our lives.  You represent the good that comes from service, the bravery needed for what you do, and the tender sweetness that captivates my daughter's heart.  Now if you'll just give me a few days to locate the exact picture I wanted to use... you, Halloween, nothing but a red (way to small) plastic Speedo..... and I believe it was really really cold that night.  Today I'm grateful for my (and each of your) Veterans.  To Mike - and his sweet wife, and his family who also honors Brayton today -  you are full of awesomeness.  Thank you....   (and thanks to my Uncle Jay and My DAD!!)  Cheer yours on today, they deserve it in every way.

 
PS.... Yesterday - I was not thankful for anything.... in case you were keeping track.  (:  Ok - I guess I was thankful that I found my Jack Skeleton gloves in the pocket of my winter coat, and a miniature Heath candy bar from last Halloween.... there - I'm grateful.

In a Walnut Shell....

Si - there is a toca-bell here.

Just as suuppper dooooper excited as I can get... Just as I thought we might get him home alive - he's transferred to Nogales!    I am GOING to find something to be grateful for.... let me see... um..... ok - how about this:

"I am grateful that because 20 people were killed in the streets of this bustling border town last week, there is an enforced curfew..."

Oh... let's hope it's 4:00 PM.....for at least the next 38 days.

I believe that I am VERY guilty of over-praying somethings.... like:  "Heavenly Father - please give my children challenges to build their trust, character, and gun toting skills, so that when danger comes instead of staring it straight in the eyes.... they run like heck to the closest 7-11"  I did hear that they leave the tall blond ones alone there.... it's the 4'11" Spanish companion he'll have to keep close under his wing.  He e-mailed me indicating that 'all valuables have been mailed home....'  He does get a 4 wheel drive truck though.... side armor incorporated.  Well, he'll come home a beautiful chocolate man that's for sure! (:  I am grateful for the power to call down angels to protect my children, my in-law children, and my ever so freaking cute grandchildren.  (Please note all exits.... locate YOUR 7-11 today)  (Yes Ashley, you may point your two fingers toward the exits... thank you)   (like um... this is NOTHING right Mike?  (gotta love my daughter's soldier))

PS - Thank you Ryan M for reminding me that - these places are the sweetest ever - and that you only had a gun held to your head twice while serving. 

BTW - Nogales - in Spanish comes from the word walnut.... and if you know my family - we'll have a blast with that one... (Mandy - did that crack you up?)

Work it girl.....

So today - Monday - I wanted SO MUCH to be grateful for something - I'M REALLY TRYING HARD today  - should be easy but not in my can o nast world.  I was grateful for yesterday - does that count?  I was grateful that the wind didn't blow my golden leaves off no matter how hard it tried!   So today - Monday - work day, just like that last 6 days so nothing out of the ordinary - except I work with an interesting person and 'it' was on a rampage today.  Hurting 'itself' along the way with 'it's ' comments.  You might think that I should say hurting me - but I feel that when ever someone goes on a rant, they only hurt themselves.  I'm pretty thick skinned, from past scaring to the heart, so I decided to kindly stand there and take it.  (My multiple took over and protected the rest of us inside from the rant).  When 'it' was finished I said - well, I guess I should work on that.  No angered response, no finger pointing, no revenge.  I was already damaged goods when I arrived so it didn't matter really what was presented to me today at 3:45 am.....  I decided to rather focus on a quote that is quickly becoming part of my morning mantra (learning a new one each day)... it's by Elder F Enzio Busche - where among about 15 different things I focused on this one:  "Never judge anyone, if you accept this you will be free.  In the case of your own children or subordinates, where you have the opportunity or responsibility to judge, help them to become their own judge."  So even though I wanted to say - have a great day you freaking wench of a person.... I didn't, and I actually didn't even think of it.  I rejoiced in the concept that mean people will have whatever they say to someone else, will have it come back to them 10 fold one day.  (thus, The Color Purple) I'm just sayin.  Today I'm grateful that I am judged by a far greater judge, one more worthy to judge, and who judges me out of love, so that I can return back to him someday.  (oh - and I'm grateful for snow... and hot chocolate)

The making of the Man Cave....

Made the Missionaries room into a Man Room now.  I didn't think that he would want to come home to soccor balls or pheasants or like - boy stuff - just Man stuff.  Since he's served in 3 different states - I made sure that each was represented by their own flag.  I took out all of his clothes that have been waiting 2 years - and washed them - he's not the kind of Missionary that is coming home and can't fit into anything - except perhaps we might have to add a few inches to the bottom of his Levi's.... I found all of the MknZe stuff - I was going to call Jon and have him make me a fire just for fun.  But it is a part of history for the Man child, so it's carefully tucked away in the shed, under the weed whacker, where the oil drips - oooops!  I found his testimony in his scriptures - he'd written it in his Senior Year it looks like - I wish he knew how much he has exceeded any of his goals.  Oh and just for fun.... right next to his light switch in Black Sharpie Pen... I've listed potential phone numbers from mothers that would like their daughter's numbers listed there.... I might have room for a few more.  Making the Man Cave, until he leaves for BYU, it's a good thing.  Today I'm grateful for blue things, that almost 21 years ago - the doctor who told me for months that it was a girl, choked on his words when God sent me what I had prayed for.

'It's a bunddttt cake"

So you know on those tear off calendars where you have the cutzie little thought and the date - and then you rip it off and the next day is there.  When you get to Saturday and Sunday - it's a combined page...?  I'm combining my gratitude page - to read Thurs/Fri...

Yesterday on the Thurs part of  Thurs/Fri - Mandy and I kept each other company in the car during her lunch hour, laughing and talking over a 5 buck pizza and left over root beer from the Halloween festivities.  Sweet wigglin' belly was there also, he likes his Grandma.  It's fun talking to that Mandy Girl... I remember having that much energy and excitement about life.

Yesterday, in the afternoon part of Thurs/Fri I received a package from my cute daughter in law Bethany with some GRANDBABY pictures.... dang - all of you just eat your hearts out - I win.   Ashley was on a business trip to their friendly state and she made sure that Andy said, "I love you Nanna!" a couple of times on the phone to me - he says that like a pro.  Made my day.

Last night, in the latter part of Thurs/Fri, my cute neighbor Joni brought me a bundt cake from 'Nothing Bundt Cakes.  I was trying to make her day - but she turned it around and made my day - Thankful for cute skinny running amazing friends... and her spirit, and her friendship, and her time spent on little old me yesterday.

Today - on the Friday part of Thurs/Fri I hit a wall.  Not with the car or the bike or heaven forbid the Harley... just emotionally.  So I'm just pluggin' my gratitude for the power of prayer.  I feel SO bad that he has to listen to me go on and on and on and on.... and then on again.  But he knew this day was coming and he was ready for me to come on bended knee.  Did he answer all of my questions?  No - but that's the beauty of it - I put it out there to him with all the faith I have in him... and then I wait, and trust,  and work towards my goals, and realize that all around me he in answering my pleas in his own way and time.  I wonder what kind of Bundt cake he would like me to send to him?  Something heavenly for sure.  Today - I'm grateful for Thur/Fri and that hopefully I'll see a better Sat/Sun. 

3 is not a bad number - in our fam it's the funniest one

Now you might think that I am forgetting that I have 4 kids, not 3.  But today I'm sharing a special day with my 3rd child, The Mandy.  Now if there was a way to download the messages on my phone left there by Mandy - you would (and Elaine I'll steal this famous line from you my friend....) have coffee comin' outta yer nose laughing.  Most of them are so hysterical that I play them over and over - I've saved them from clear back in 2008.... seriously - my phone messages are always full because I save the messages from my kids.  Elder Hillary's is on there from the day before he left - a message to me - to play any day any time.  Mandy's are always in some foreign voice... or opera singing lady, or "WHY DO YOU HATE ME" voice.... indescribable... but on the hardest days... I play every single one of them.  Ashley left me her Morphine call after her root canal, and Matt's is when he was doing donuts in the BYU parking lot after the first snowfall.... no doubt - probably right in front of a cop.  I love messages from Andy - coached by his mom and dad - messages to Nanna... could there be anything sweeter?  Today I called the 3rd child and used my SkELeTonZ voice and reminded her that because of  circumstances....we were the only Hillarys in the State of Utah right now - WHAT'S WITH THAT?  So tomorrow - we are meeting up for some serious picnicking in the car during her lunch time..We know how to have a good time eh?  Well, I thought it was a good idea until I noticed that the 3rd child had swallowed a watermelon .... What the heck... Looks like a 20 week old spawn growing inside my beautiful #3.... The day you call me to tell me you've had this baby boy... make sure you leave a message - so I can play it over and over again.  XOXOXO

 I'm grateful today that the #3 child is having the #3 grandchild,
and for the 3 messages it took

for her to sing me happy birthday last year
because she 'wasn't done singing it yet'.

Grattitude: Great great great grandma didn't get to vote - so TODAY I voted just for you....

 ....... because it must have been difficult voting behind that bear skin attached to the tree and all.....   Did a little votin' today - I never vote straight anything - I like to mix it all up and make my own cup o tea out of the whole mess.  I vote - because women didn't get to for a long time - and I get to every time - so to honor those that didn't get  chance - I vote.  I don't like the 'early voting' - I mean - what's the fun in that?  I love the crisp November air waking up your responsibility gene... and then remembering that you need to return the movie to the library that is over due.... and you look for some new ones.... and then - oh ya - I'm here to VOTE!!  I avoid with all my might - those pollsters standing right in front of the doors - in my way - and NO I don't have an opinion - I HAVE A VOTE TO CAST - so move aside.  Inside - I get my sticker first - I haven't voted yet - and I could just run out the door with my sticker... like those little old ladies would chase me down.  Loved writing my name upside down on the register.  Loved having my name announced like I was royalty, but actually hearing it said wrong made me double check to see if I brought the correct fake ID... you know the one... where is actually says that I weigh a certain amount, but I really don't.  I look at the names on the list... in my mind I'm hearing the debates, the mud slinging, the mud slinging, and the mud slinging.  I don't vote for either one of those people.... I don't like ANY of the judges - so I voted NO for all of them - it's just a popularity vote anyway, they all look the same in those robes so it doesn't matter to me who's wearing them.  I voted for one person because a little old lady said I should, and since she's been around a lot longer than I have - I gave that vote to her.  I did think that I wanted a change - but then again - I remember the LAST person that said we would have a change, and he won, and the only thing that's changed is where he lives now, while other people are losing their homes and also living somewhere else.  So, I voted - I wanted the sticker because at the 'SWEET TOOTH FAIRY' cupcake store if you brought in your sticker... they gave you a free cupcake.  On the way home from my bike ride tonight I passed a cop on a motorcycle with his radar up.... I stopped and asked him if he was trying to catch those people that didn't vote.... He actually smiled and said yes..... and I said, "and if they didn't do you pull out the other gun?  and he actually laughed again..... I love popo's.   I'm really excited that I cast my vote BEFORE my bike ride because I passed the 9 million (it's voting season I can exaggerate if I want) 'VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE MY OPPONENT IS A CRIMINAL!   Had I known, I may have been swayed to vote for this sign, pounded in between the row of signs.... "CALL ME I'LL PUT YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP!"  Hey - seriously - it's all location location location.....  So - I love voting - tonight I'm also voting that Bristol Palin gets kicked off of Dancing with the Stars.   I think everyone I voted for today will win because - my vote counts right?   I can't hear you?  Today I'm thankful for the opportunity to vote, and to bring home that coveted sticker to add with the other one I have that simple states:  "Don't blame me I didn't vote for Obama".  Voting - it's a good thing.  PS.... my ballot was incomplete - I couldn't find Spock on it anywhere....  If you haven't already voted - duh - the poles are now closed..... are you still in the Library looking for movies?  BAZINGA!

Borrowing a cup of....

Well, things have been a bit tough going around the farm lately.  Not complaining - just being real.  I went to check out the fridge and it was looking back at me saying - hey - remember when you use to pack me full?  That's when there were a lot more mouths to feed.  There's still enough in there for the empty nesters - it's just that it looked deserted.  I closed the door, and thought for a moment how really full my cup is in life.  That gratitude is such a filler to my soul.  How very blessed I am for so many little things that add up to be enormous things in my life. With Mr. Hillary on the site of another continent, and coming home to absolute quietness (because the birds pout when he's gone and they're very quiet), I thought of the strength of my daughter Ashley - never complaining, just looking to the future, and the joy it will bring.  Looking at my son Matt's cute Mickey and Minnie.... I felt my heart fill with grandma smiles.  As I reached over and felt Mandy's tummy as she is harboring no doubt a beautiful spawn....my soul remembered carrying her.  Today - I remembered Elder Hillary, as he shared with me that he would return home 4 days sooner, meaning a reset on my blog counter at the right....and there's something to be seriously grateful for... even though it's only 4 days, remember, the last time I saw him just about 2 years ago he was just leaving the hospital - and the look on his face cannot be erased from my mind.  For my Savior... there are not enough words of gratitude for his sacrifice for silly old me.  I'm not sure I was worth all of that - but I'm sure glad he still loves me through all of the years of mistakes and stumbles I've made.

Now and then I make a good choice, one was marrying Mr. Hillary.  Then again, I made 4 more excellent choices, my beautiful kids, and they returned the favor by marrying wonderful, beautiful spouses... and are bringing in the next generation to love.  Today my cup is full.   I've got a few more up my sleeve - I'll share them with you as I go through this month - as I need to look up somehow - and Gratitude seems to be a good place to start looking up.  Happy November... happy 46 days left for Elder Hillary,  almost 1/2 way for Mandy and Ryan, 2 weeks for Ashley and Mike, and many giggles and grins for Matt, Bethany, Em and Drewski.... I love you all.  What's on your gratitude plate?  

Random Halloween Moments In Time....

Found these random pictures I have posted

to my blog over time.

(Note to visitors.... Plastic noses are always found

in the entry way of our house... along with the Princess Leah wig)

Pretty self explanatory....

we get a little crazy at Halloween.

Hopefully the weather will cooperate (well not so much today)

and we'll be able to drag the cauldron of death to the

front yard and celebrate

National Anti Weight Watchers Day

in full force - I get the Butterfingers.

I asked Mr Hillary what he remembered dressing up

as when he was a little boy.  He mumbled something about

Halloween not even being invented back then yet.

(I actually believe him..... dum dum dum.....)

I was Little Red Riding hood once - yes... the plastic mask o' death.

I remember running to a house, jumping over a ditch and landing

full force into a barbed wire fence that had recently been put up.

(Halloween 3, Scream, and Freddie Kruger in 3-D all in one)

Mom had to wrap me up like a mummy for a couple of days

afterwards....my friends reminded me that Halloween was over.

Little did I know that later on in my life Heath Ledger would play

me in the bloody Batman movie.... minus the nurse outfit...

If you're in the neighborhood... bring your own hot dog stick,

and we'll string up the barbed wire....

Might want to be careful bobbing for apples this year...

I have a cold coming on... snot sure what will be in the pot

along with the apples....

Happy Haunting - on Sunday er - in Utah - Saturday.... 

whomever said Church and State don't mix... never lived here.

  ..... enjoy a good Hocus Pocus night...

Let's play doctor....

...........because if you are a doctor - you can charge this........

Q-tip - $89.00

Cup for peeing in - $12.50

Water to produce pee for $12.50 cup - $15.00

8 inches of tape for taping together the

3 (tiny) holes in my stomach - $45.00

Calling the insurance and telling them that I've never met the

doctor doing the surgery before the ER experience,

of which they charged me for an

OFFICE VISIT 2 days before $200.00

Priceless.....

always read the bill twice

they may charge you for reading it twice

but how would you ever know that

you knew your mystery doctor

before you ever met him

Like I said... next time I'll cut it out myself...

just in case it grows back.

Oh.... and remember to keep your ears

clean so they don't have to use the $89.00 Q-tip.

(it was only one - and I THINK that's what they used it for)

Just for the record - I'm so excited to have

IHC call me and ask me about my experience.....

Everyone should be taken from their room to their

car in a wheelchair with the IV still connected and

the blood pressure cuff still screaming away....

(duh...)(ya - the bills have arrived)

2 Missionaries, 2 Angels , 1 Temple and convictions of the heart...

So first of all you need to know that there really are angels out there.  Those that come into your children's lives and rescue them and tenderly care for them.  I know this because we have Elizabeth and Jessica in our lives.  Elizabeth is someone that a handsome Missionary met in Texas.... and he was allowed to bring her a message that changed her life, and his.  A year ago Elizabeth joined the church.  Jessica is a friend of Elizabeth's and part of the RS Presidency in her ward.  On the 8th of October, Elder Hillary's sweet Mission President allowed him to attend the temple for Elizabeth's endowment session in the Gila Valley Temple.  Jessica drove her there from El Paso.  There were closer temples to go to - but Elder Hillary was serving in the Gila Valley Temple district - and they made the sacrifices to drive there so he could be there.  Now tell me - who does that for someone?  These two angels.  Their families made sacrifices for them to come - they called the Mission President and arranged it all- and the sweet stories that came from that moment in time will forever be in my heart.  If Elder Hillary could not make it to the temple, we were going to drive there and be with her... but since he was allowed - I made sure that at the same time they were going through the Gila Valley Temple, I was going through the Draper Utah Temple - I had their pictures in my hands the whole time... there were many tears.  But not as many as those freely shed in a beautiful Temple in Arizona on a hot autumn night.  Elder Hillary said.... "Mom - we were sitting in the room waiting for them to come in - the Temple Matron came in and asked my companion and I to come into the hallway - Liz and Jessica were waiting for us there - all we could do was shake hands - wink and wave at each other!"  Liz said, "I know that you are suppose to be emotional in the celestial room at the end of the endowment session - but I was crying before anything even started - when I saw Elder Hillary!"  To bring just one soul.........one soul.... he wasn't kidding... oh the joy.  The pictures tell the story.  Now... at the end - you get to see Elizabeth's humor - I do believe that if he wasn't in a suit - she would have done it.  (check out that handsome missionary man!)  His current companion is Elder Kasat from Chile', the companion serving with him when he met and taught Liz was Elder Carter from Logan, Utah.    Enjoy... I love my Missionary.

 Jessica's and her husband will be going through the temple in less than a year - that will be a sweet day., when their beautiful family will be sealed together.  Liz's husband is a wonderful man that we have also adopted - they are the parents of a beautiful little girl.  The rewards of the Gospel are endless... and priceless.... are any of you interested???  Let me know - I've got great connections.  

Tomatoes, Raspberries and such...oh and the dead.

Lovin' the weather - because I just like a bit 'o rain now and then, making everything smell awesome and earthy.  Not so much the wind - because my screens are old and they rattle.  I also love that I don't feel guilty about not being outside working my earth patches.  The tomatoes are turning red, and the raspberries are just incredible this year.  I personally dream of and actually pray that.... the raspberry thorns slash through the tomatoes...and they die a slow death.   I kinda despise them, except in my chili sauce that will be filling up the house with eye watering yum tomorrow afternoon, during a forcasted rainstorm.  Recovery is actually not a word I deal well with - Appendectomy on Saturday 6 AM... home at 2 PM.... back to work and off meds by Monday 3:45 AM... on the Stairmaster by 5:00 PM..... but don't tell anyone ok?  But when the body wins over the mind for a few hours I find myself enjoying pulling out some projects (ok - so a freakin' whole bunch of projects that I've brought home from my mom's house to do for her) (I remind mom that they are 'sit down' projects which goes over a little better).  Last night I was reading about the Bowen/Hunter side of my father's side of the family.  I always thought that the Hill/Murray side of my Mom's family were totally awesome freakish pioneer stock until I read some stories about my dad's family that would make those Hill boys cry like babies.  We're off the tomatoes now - but I think that the Hunter bunch would be guilty of being the raspberry thorns - tough Scots as they were.... (probably why the Hills and Bowens are buried in separate towns)  In his own words - and most of them left out and misspelled - James Forbes Hunter talked about having to leave his sick wife along the trail to Salt Lake - he had to make a choice of his kids or his wife - they both made the decision to make sure the kids made it.  Mary Susanna NollKemper Hunter died along the Mormon trail.  A picture of her indicates that her husband would not have been able to make any other choice - here eyes tell the story - she would not have let him.  Somewhere inside me I pray that there is a tiny gene of hers still alive and well - actually I hope I had at least 5... one to keep - and 4 to pass on to my kids.  In the middle of the night last night, the circus music started in my head like it always does with those from the other side... NollKemper... Nollkemper... Nollkemper.... in perfect rhythm.  When I opened my eyes - I could feel her all around me, reminding me that I was well known to her before I came to earth.  She taught me things there in heaven, I brought them here to earth, quirks known only to her and I - and I have a boatload of quirks believe me.  Strangely enough...... I'm convinced she hated tomatoes.  I hope it rains for another week.  Nollkemper,  Nollkemper, Nollkemper.....  (then I watched Paul Blart Mall Cop and ate raspberries....)(quirks)

Excuse Me Nurse Betty...

 

Well, it's kinda like this....

Not feeling oh so hot on Thursday night - thinking I must have snarfed down the taco I ate... going through the night thinking - could I just die and get it over with.... at 1:20 am I'm walking around the block trying to get whatever is blocking the lower half of my body.... at 2:00 wake up Mr. Hillary and remind him that I'm dying yet again... walking some more.... going into work (what was I thinking)... picking up a few groceries in case I do die, Mr Hillary will have cereal..... sleeping it off for a few hours.... Stupidity sets in as I buckle over and still straddle the Harley for a 2 hour ride around the Provo/Park City loop - oh my it was beautiful though... getting home to sleep it off yet again... deciding that I've found enough change in the laundry bags, between the coushions of the couch, and under all of the beds to afford InstaCare... getting totally chewed out by a doctor (that I've known for many years and why she's at this particular InstaCare I'll never know)... who screams at me that she cannot do tests like this at 8:30 at night.... so I get up off of the table to leave and she won't let me (like I was going to sit there and take that)... reminds me that my bacterial levels should be 2-3 and mine was at 11... trip to IHC in Murray for a CT scan... (remind me to look behind all of your couches and laundry bags to pay for this nightmare)... drink the drink of death, CT at midnight... results show FREAKIN APPENDICITIS and that it has to be removed,  asap - and then finding out that the doctors are are war with each other and I have to wait until 6 am but can't sleep because they think I'm like preggo of something and have to check if I'm dilated or something, no cokes or food or anything - just late night TV.... 6 am - surgery, THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR!!!!!, I remind them that I have not shaved my legs - they say - that's not what we're shaving and then they say - oh - you already have (Must have been out of my mind), BOOM - I'm gone and awake and they have stripped me of my dignity and my appendix, and they send me home on some great drugs, which is why I can write this whole blog entry without any periods, and have learned the following lessons.

1.  Conference is so much better on drugs  - because it will take drugs for me to get over the texting talk.  Holy Cow people - leave us some joy!

2.  Water skiing at 8 months is a cake walk after this.

3.  Always wear clean underwear.... or ... wear underwear.

4.  If you are going to have an extended visit to the hospital - pack your own cooler of drinks.

5.  Remind the nurse that discharges you to take out the IV before you are wheeled down the hall.  (what a dork this lady was - seriously - she was El Stupido!  (Where was Laurie Canfield when I needed her?)

6.  Love your Relief Society President everyday girls - mine called and asked if she could bring sweets and clean my undies.  I love you MK xoxox

7.  As hot as my husband looked last night - Narcotics make him look like a rock star.

8.  Someone tell my mom that I did not have another baby.  She's so confused at 81....

9.  Ashley can cook - she can buy beautiful flowers and she can be convincing holding a gun telling the stupid discharge nurse that YES my mom WILL need painkillers before she leaves...

10.  Texting after above mentioned narcotics - is hysterical.

Well - up and at 'em and back to work tomorrow

(you think I'm kidding)

(we have couches at work with money in them somewhere I just know!)

Back sale to be announced for funding of

above mentioned events....