Nuff said.... said I

Well - it's the last week of our Mission - it's been a long long did I mention long haul?  We are speaking in our Mission Ward tomorrow - my topic is "Be Ye Not Moved".  Most people would think that would not be an issue - but you don't know the Bishop in my Mission Ward.  If there is anyone trustworthy, virtuous, and doing good - it's not particularly me - I have learned that I kill first ask questions later.  I'm the stubborn missionary.  The one that when something really awful needs to be done - he would look over at me and smile that really sneaky smile.  Turkey.  But I have appreciated his trust in me - he knows that I'll only speak the truth to the people I serve - I have never ever blown smoke up their skirt telling them wonderful things - I have told them exactly what is going on - and how they can change it - if they don't want to change it - they are wasting my time and the Lords...... now remember we are not talking about the gospel - because EVERYONE can change that for the better.  We are talking about rent, food, safety, child abuse, probation, visiting hours at the prison, robbery, assault, child abandonment, life threatening moments and rape.  So - you can see where I'm coming from.  It will be interesting to return to my home ward.  I am not that person that left here 2.5 years ago - I hate crowds, and social things (I totally hate social things), I do not want to go to lunch or for a ride or shopping together - I MAY go to a movie because I don't have to talk to anyone - but I MOSTLY want to just hide for a while.  Things that happened over the past few years have been extremely difficult to say the least.  I don't know quite how to explain that to people that just say - OH I'll bet you're so happy to be done, or, I'll bet you're glad to be back.... no.. and no.... because all of that Hellatious stuff is still going on - and I'm going to be back in leisure city pretending it isn't happening.  Not.  So if you see me in the next few months - with my head in a hole like an ostrich (you'll recognize me by my big biking butt sticking up) please give me some time.  I promise I'll come out someday.  I'll write fluffy things about my mission later but for now - I'm just trying to gag myself through a talk tomorrow - trying to say good bye to people that changed my life, and set me on a better course, one without guile, and judgment, and one filled with hope.  I don't want to sit on benches with people that casually attend church, complain about the talks, and leave because they are bored - I want to sit on the bench with people that WANT CHANGE, and are trying to MAKE IT HAPPEN.... so if there is a bench in my ward like that - save me a place - and there better be a cup holder for my McDonald's Coke.  Peace out - I got concentrate of spiritual stuff now... be ye unmoved stuff.... and pack a few Kleenexes.  nuff said....