It's one of those reflection days. The reflection in the mirror was a year older today - and it's humbling to think of the past year. What a ride it's been. Speaking of rides... nope not yet - not going to talk about that one yet. I really do look in the mirror a lot but not for vane reasons, but rather for indications of me inside there somewhere and how I'm getting along with life. It's interesting how when you hear your birth date said, or see it written, or on some milk carton as an expiration date - you stop and think - hey - that's MY day!
DECEMBER 3
Yep - there it is.
But the original ending date is actually December 3, 1959. Making me the old speed limit before 65 came along, at 55. Double 5's - big 55 - also AARP in the mail almost every week. Let me look in the mirror and see if I'm REALLY THAT old....
When I look in the mirror - I still see my blue eyes. They are my dad's eyes - I love that he gave me that little bit of genetic pass on. When I wear green, they go green. When I'm sad they go dark blue. Then I cry that sadness out they turn bright blue. I've seen a lot of things through those eyes. Some things I hope to never ever ever forget - first time I saw Del.... seeing him over the alter when I married him (my blue eyes love his brown eyes).....and all the 31 years of seeing him as my husband. I hope to never forget the first time I looked at my beautiful children - wow - that was amazing - a miracle in every way - joy of my joys. Almost as wonderful as looking at their spouses knowing that they both had a twinkle in their eyes and that meant good things ahead. Can I ever forget looking at my grandchildren - the view was kind of blurred - because I know there were a lot of tears of joy. Like I said, there's been a lot of things to see through those eyes. It's important that I mention that through those eyes I've also seen pain and sadness like I've never known. I think I was a lot stronger in the pre-existence - because I'm certainly not as strong as the promises I made in heaven. But then when I came to this earth on December 3rd, I had that memory of strength taken from my mind and I've had to find it along the way. I was saddest when I looked at my dad for the last time alive - even sadder when I looked at his beautiful face for the last time at his funeral. I see my mom's eyes and I know that they sometimes don't remember my eyes. I hide that sadness but my eyes always gave me away. My eyes leak a lot. I've had hard days when they don't look up to see the world. Days where I've looked away. Times when I've seen the cruel things of life. It's always there to see - but I don't have to look at it. These eyes have been good to me. Coke bottle glasses and years of contacts over the years none the less but good to me.
Hopefully the most important thing that my eyes see are the good things that can come from seeing, actually seeing the things of life that bring light to my soul. My soul, I believe is ageless - and is much wiser than the limitations of my human body that is a year older today. My soul has grown in leaps and bounds this year, because I made that my goal last year. I took that soul to places that it was safe. I let it experience the temple every week where it could touch base with where it came from. I let it know of joy. I trust it to only the big guy up there to sustain it. With that, when the winds of change - or age - come, I will see more clearly, the path to the next year.
It's already looking amazing.
Let's eat cake.
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