New Soil

....and so it begins...

A new chapter in our lives.

Inner-City Missionaries.

We started our training today and I've never been so blown

away at the amount of love and leadership the church puts

into this Mission.  Originated by President Gordon B. Hinckley,

and it continues on today full speed ahead under

the direction of President Thomas Monson.

It was extremely emotional for me to put Del's badge on him

today.  He's come so far in the church and I hope

one day his family will know of his

 great accomplishments

within the

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

(You know, The Mormons)

For 5 hours - I was glued to the speakers and the training.

We will no longer be members of our current ward.

We received our assignment today and we are thrilled

to serve in our new area.  There is much to be

done - much service to give, great blessings to harvest.

 It's an interesting concept,

some people think that a missionary does so much for

others, when the truth is, I believe I will be the one

walking away with the life changing experience.

It's currently our goal to have our lives in order

to continue to serve for as long as the mission

allows us to serve - currently 12 to 18 months.

Our trainers - have been there for 7 years.

They don't want to go back to their own wards.

I can see why.

Having no idea whatsoever what our assignement will

be within the new area, I find it to be a great leap

of faith and trust.  I cannot be a tool unless my heart,

mind, and might is open to the Lord's needs.

We have asked our children to serve the Lord,

and they have never let us down.

I don't want to let them down either.

If you don't hear much from me,

I'm digging my heels in somewhere in

NEW SOIL.

Or in other words,

when someone says, 'When Pigs Fly"

I saw a couple with their wings on today.

Happy Birthday Miss Emmabug

Oh Happy Day

My beautiful Grand-daughter.

What joy you have brought to

our family.  Your personality

is sweet, and tender.

I can't wait to continue to watch

you grow up and become

all that and then some.

Nanna loves you.

Happy First Birthday

Emma!

Just a bit 'o my thoughts

Well, this post will mean nothing to anyone else but me - but I wanted to put it on paper and out of my mind somehow.  10 years ago, or even 20, I never would have believed that I would be in the spot I'm in now.  Some things planned - but the majority not.  I have had to find a strength inside of me that I've had to muster up more than it should have to be.  I've found that I have had to separate things happening in my life, and catagorize them.  Sometimes I've actually had to tell myself - Nic, let there be some joy in your life for a few minutes.  I do - and it helps, and then it's quickly gone.  Then I'm back into seriously heavy thoughts that find me in places that I'm unaware of how to cope with.  I have found fears that people shouldn't have to live with every day.  Yet again - I've found myself closer to the Lord in plea's of help and peace.  I listened to a talk a while ago - I've tried to incorporate those words I heard into my day.  "If you can only see the blessings right around the corner you would realize that these moments of uncertainty are but a small price."  I've used the 'flip the coin' concept.  One side Trials, the other Blessings.  The trial side is very dusty, and I need to flip it over more.  I'm not sure how some of these things came to be but it's kind of like the frog sitting in the warm water - not realizing that the heat has been turned up and it will soon become frog legs...  I've had to reach inside and remind myself that things are just things - and people are more important than anything, and most of all that Family is everything.  I'm grateful that my son's body is healing.  I'm hopeful that my daughter will deliver soon.  I'm aware of the pains of separation of loved ones.  I'm far far away from my Grandbabies that I love.  But all of these things have taught me great lessons.  It's time to sacrifice some things and to make better choices.  It's time to step up to the plate - and just be brave.  It's time to just realize that life is just a great big huge lesson to learn.  It's also important to know that when I look around at others - we are all basically swimming in the same pool.  Things can be taken in an instant, and today I was reminded of that by the devisation in Japan.  Life goes on - and on.  Today - I just need to get charged up somehow and get over this and move on.  I know that makes you wonder what the heck is going on.... that's not important, what is, is that we are in charge of our happiness.  I'm going to go outside and put my face up into the sun, and breath.  It's a start. 

Awaiting the welcome....

Hey look - still no pictures - I could steal one but that would be breaking the honor code somewhere.  Right?  I know I have 4 kids - and I love them all - and yet now and then I pick on one and say something about them.  Mandy is about ready to pop - she is now 14 days from her due date.  I remember her telling me she was preggo right after we had gone for a Harley ride.  She said, "Have you ever taken your grandkids on a Harley ride?"  I'm all, no - heck no.  She said, "You did today".... and the rest was history - screaming and jumping and total hysteria.  It's been fun watching the little guy growing inside her making her shirts rip at the seams, create havoc with her walking, sitting and sleeping issues.  I have enjoyed so very much our conversations about being a mom.  Of course I expect both of my daughters to be better mom's than they had - that's a given.  It's been sweet to hear Mandy tell me of some of the things she wants to teach her son - that I taught her, it honors me deeply to hear her talk like that.  Our sweet coversations of 'what about this - what about that' have meant the world to me.  I am always amazed at how beautiful she looks, always glowing and growing, and beautiful.  I appreciate how graceful she is about letting all of us feel the baby move inside, we're always talking to her tummy, whispering our secrets to him.  Sometimes I see or hear the worry in her face and voice, and I try to talk that out of her.  I am grateful for her sweet husband - who although totally overloaded with BYU Law School, still has Mandy and the baby at the top of the list.  He is amazing also, and I am grateful for his love for her.  I have appreciated and adored her sister and sister in law's attention towards her - giving her advice, and offering up all their help.  There are a several uncles.... awaiting to go over the finer laws of sports and cars no doubt.  The Grandpas, are practicing not crying.  It's all in all been a great journey, and it's closer than ever now.  I have spent many prayerful moments asking that she'll make it safely to the hospital with Ryan when the time comes.  I have also pleaded that the pain of delivery would pass quickly as I never want my girls to be in pain.  I've asked God to make sure that the 10 fingers and toes we've seen on the ultra sound will be fully functionable and adorable.  These are just a few thoughts I can share - the rest are very personal and directly between God and I.  I'm so excited to hold this little person for the first time - I'll stand in any line of those also waiting just to have my turn, I'll be patient, because I know he's loved by so many already.  I'm excited to be a Grandma with Ruth, because she's bringing so many amazing things to the table when it comes to being a new Grandma.  I don't ever want to let this little guy down.  It changes your perspective on life when you know that you are something to someone.  I want to be there for him in his needs that he asks of a Grandma.  I want to make sure he laughs a lot - and can sing all of the funny songs I know.  I want to read to him and hold his hand when he asks me to.  I have a lot of stories to share with him, about where he comes from and I can't wait for him to hear about all of those Italian Lapioli's.... sweet.  He comes to Uncles and Aunts that have awaited his arrival with joy.  He will know the secrets of heaven, and his sibling and cousins that await there to come.  He comes to greet Andrew and Emma, and that reunion will be sweet.  He'll bring the love of Great Grandparents passed from the other side.  He's already changed the world in my eyes.  So Mandy - just wanted you to know - that you are already an amazing mom, in every way.  On your hardest, most tired days, hold him tight and remember the great warrior he is to God.  Thank you for bringing this little guy in to the world, and for giving me yet another member of our family to love.  You are just beginning the greatest journey of your life.  Breath.... hee hee haa haa hee hee haa haa, and I'll be waiting for that phone call.  xoxo Bob

Good Morning??

Now that I don't have to go into work until 6 AM instead of 3:45 AM..... (for now) I'm finding interesting things on the road that I really didn't have to avoid hitting.  So now when I drive to work, driving with my knee, eating a bowl of cereal, and listening to X96... here's what I found that comes out of the woodwork and into the darkness of the pre-am moments.

Dog walkers - all carrying steamy bags of poop - yum
Joggers....... dressed in black -  what the EFF?
Joggers with blinkers - so that they look like part of the I-15 road construction crew
Winder Dairy trucks - that park their trucks and run around with glass bottles... (and you thought scissors were dangerous).
Other people leaving for work - making it difficult for me to drive in the middle of the road, and forcing me to actually stop at the stop signs.
Po-Po's - they've loaded up on donuts and coffee from 7-11 and are ready to roll....
The moon - making it's exit for the day - big, beautiful, and brilliant.
Lights on in people's homes so I can see in and see what's for breakfast
Bathrobed people going out to pick up their papers.... oh - might want to cover that sir...ew...
and.... the ability to see that people are still texting as they drive..... der der der...

I love my 3:45's - when only the vampires are out....

And the Lungs have it...

Ryan will NOT let me post a picture here of him in his cute hospital gown (and it really is a cute one) - and even though he's punctured and wrapped and finally breathing somewhat up to par, he's missed here at home tonight.  Long story short... 1st lung - a week before he was to leave the MTC for Mexico, really hard surgery, really tough on him physically.  For two years we waited for the 2nd lung to go.  He was blessed by some amazing angel because he survived those two years.  But on Monday, the 21st... it went - and so did we to the Emergency Room.  A chest tube inserted - suction - x-rays, repeat.  Late that night we headed home with him and his new chest contraption, and loads of pain meds.  Next day - survived a few hours up and then down again.   X-rays showing a 75% increase of improvement - scheduled a time for the tubes to be removed on Thursday the 24th.  The chest tube was then re-wrapped by a  nurse that covered a major valve wrong....and that's not a good thing...  by Thursday x-ray reveals... not good enough information and back into the hospital immediately.  Frustrated and angry and in pain - he sat there in that hospital bed.  There were no words.  His thoughts were of his brand new job, his mid semester college classes, and the thoughts of the 2 year previous nightmare returning.  Del traveled this week - so it was Ryan and I sitting there in silence, and in quiet prayer.  I text my Bishop - and within minutes a ward wide text went out for prayers and fasting.  I love my Bishop, I love my ward.  Long night of restlessness on all of our parts - but a sweet sense of the love and comfort around us because of the the faith and prayers of people, even total strangers some of them.  I arrived in his room today - no movement, no noise, just complete silence next to the bubbling of his pump.  He was furious, staring straight ahead... there was no comforting him.  He had been waiting for x-ray results and no one ever came.  He ate a few nurses alive for lunch - one of which - did everything she could to get the doctor to talk to him.  He finally called him and calmed him down.  The results indicated better lung capacity, and hope - that hope part was huge.  The surgery was put on hold, but staying in the hospital was a must.  Mandy, Ry, and Ashley came for the afternoon - brought love and laughter, and also... hope.  It's late tonight - should be sleeping, but there are a few thoughts I can't let escape  my mind.  So I'll write them here...

*  When you have children like I enjoy every day, every heartache is healed with love and laughter.

*  When you get a ward like we have - they can heal anything with their prayers and faith.

*  When you look at your child in a hospital bed and you don't have the words to comfort them, you realize that you don't have to say anything, just being there is something.

*  When you enter your home in the dark of the night, and it's empty, you follow the spirit to the room where it's the strongest and you curl up and cry yourself to sleep.  When you wake up - you realize it's that child's room your in.

*  When you think "wow - this is really tough on my kid", then they wheel in someone across the hall in the ER and they didn't make it... you count your blessings.

*  When you get up in the morning and you give up all you need to do in that day because the most important thing you can do is be with that child... you realize that there wasn't anything more important than doing that.

*  When you see the pain in their eyes, and the frustration, and the stubbornness... you realize that they are just a chip off of your very own block - and you have to smile.

*  When you kneel down at night and thank the big man in the sky for all of your blessings, you include this particular event in those blessings.

Because....

There is increased love, faith, prayers, trust, knowledge, and growth.  So for tonight - with a heavy heart - yet another body part probably going soon.... I'll just breath in and out, and in and out, and remind myself of the miracles performed by the human body that houses God's soul inside.

Thank you to my children, who bring my world together in every way - with laughter and love.  You are treasures to me always.  To Ryan... you are a very ornery trouper... but God isn't finished with you yet so keep on believing in him, he's never left your side.

WANTED: information please

Well, it's been a zillion years since I posted - and I feel a zillion years older.  Been an interesting bit of time since my last post.  I use to just love jumping on here and posting some crazy thing.  The past few weeks have been heavy on my mind and heart.  So to get past my blogging slump - I want to just post a few activities that have been on the table.  Then - I'll get back to the crazy of things.  Here's a mixture of the best information I have retained:

Andy turned two-free, and is now hooked on the Muppet Movies I hope.
Emma is now crawling, pulling herself up, and screaming dadadada..... so perfect..
Mandy is due in less than 4 weeks - we partied - we loved it and the manchild has a name.....
Karin came to visit - and brought her love and laughter
Ashley visited her brother in WA - including Bethany and two beautiful babies... oh - and for work also but we like the family part better.
Ashley also visited the inside of the Hillary's toilet in WA - trying to rid herself of food poisoning... ew..
Ryan M. is surviving being called as the Stake Sports Specialist... having to play basketball is now a calling in the church.
Ryan H. is employed - a moment of joy and excitement - because it's a really sweet job and he's happy!
Mike is overloaded with machine guns - and is loving the power from within.
Del cut his pony tail off - I was glad because I didn't have to put bubble gum in it in the middle of the night.
Del and I were called as Inter City Missionaries - thus the hair cut.... I'm kinda sad because apparently I can't wear my hooker boots during my service.
Gma couldn't find her Valentine I sent her - because she had opened it up and put in on the kitchen table for everyone to see - but she was still looking for the red envelope it came in.... that apparently still contained the Valentine I sent my mom for Valentines day.... oh my.
Ashley and I barely made it for the registration for Little Red Century ride - it filled in 23 hours... I say we should just freaking ride it for free.
It has snowed, blown, rained, sun shined, and hailed - all in the same day.
My brother earned his MASTERS DEGREE - a feat that I am uber excited for him about - and am proud of him for.
And the most important thing ... well - it's right up there at the top.... Coke is still a dollar at McDonalds.

Life is good on this Sunday night.... until tomorrow - when it will become..... Monday.