Embezzzzling your family

Ok - while we're all stuck on the Biggest Loser show - of which I'm glad that ugly Dan is gone and that the chicks prevailed after Jillians *$%#@ whipping speech on metabolism. I have to brag about my brother and sister in law. ICON is where Terri works and they are having a contest for weight loss. Eric and Terri have lost 51 lbs & 47ish respectively. I'm cheering them on to win the $1,000.oo contest and I wish them luck in doing so. I'm tellin ya though - these darn family members should have told us and we would have put them on TV! We all could have splurged on their riches! We could all learn a lesson from their efforts and I'm really proud of them! Anyway - congrats you guys and best luck in the finals - gotta go get a triple chocolate sundae....

Some things should just be kept a secret....

Escaped the purse tagging, got caught on the book taggings - but I couldn't tell my beautiful daughter in law (mother of my beautiful grandson) no on the "List of 10 things you might not know about me" so just in case you wonder why I am like I am....

1. I hate tomatoes - they were a mistake in the Garden of Eden - I think Eve ate a tomato and not an apple - because a tomato would have caused the kind of problems that no apple could.

2. I am addicted to the 'Radio from Hell' show on X96. I actually quote them more than I should. I agree with most of their fetishes.

3. I don't want Obama, Hillary, or McCain. I want Indiana Jones. Do you realize that spell check doesn't even acknowledge Obama as a word? Why would I acknowledge him as a President? MY LAST NAME IS HILLARY why would I want that kind of torture for the next 4 years? AND - the other guy is just freakin' old!! (Kind of reminds me of the old movie "Temple of Doom" and we're all in it!) Indiana - come out of Disneyland and SAVE US!

3a. I had Dan Jones the pollster as my Political Science professer at Utah State. Didn't like him then - can't stand it when he's on TV now.

4. I was ran over by a Jeep when I was a little girl and ran over by a boat propeller - yes, attached to the boat, as an adult. I avoid going under planes and trains.

4a. Because of the boating accident - I have no feeling on the right half of my jaw, or my middle, ring, and pinkie fingers on my left hand. (So if I flip you off on the freeway, it's because I cannot control that middle finger OR maybe you really did do something to annoy me.)

5. I am afraid of the dark, scary movies, and mice that jump out at you in the dark during scary movies.

5a. I love to see small mice bodies snapped in half in mousetraps - but not in the dark.

6. I absolutely loved my Kindergarden teacher - Mrs. Horgesheimer, she was only as tall as all of the Kindergardeners! I had a crush on my 4th grade teacher Mr. Peterson because he played the guitar. I admired my College Prep English teacher in High School - his name was Mr. Pate - I just knew that his first name was Consta.

7. I actually got a 4.0 in High School, was Student Body Secretary, and achieved All American Status and Athlete of the Year in 3 sports. Then during the summer I played for the Budweiser softball team and my mom wouldn't wash my uniform shirt. (I never wore it to church - I promise!)

7a. My athletic pictures were hot. My high school dance pictures would scare the flies off of a gut wagon. Let me post one after I receive permission from my poor dates that actually had to keep one of them for.... probably just for their children to laugh their butts off 30 years later....

8. I married a California boy - he had to come all the way to Utah to find me. So the Beach Boys song was a fake "I wish they all could beat California Girls...." Bla Bla Bla - bring it on sister.....I got one of your 'Best in States"!

8a. I will have been married to Del for 25 years on April 22! (22 was my favorite jersey number in sports - sorry honey - I didn't know if you thought that was just a special day or .... something else)

9. I love to laugh. I think a good - can't breath, tears streaming down your face, almost peeing your pants, ugly purple lips from no cirrculation kind of laugh is one of the most healthy things you can do every day. Then have a Coke from McDonalds and you've got it made. Good times.

9a. My mom gave me funny genes. She thought I wanted Fun Jeans - that was the 'pre-hearing aids' era.

10. I always fill up a baggie of dirt from my father's garden in Mendon and bring it to my garden and sprinkle it out over the ground every year as a ritual token. One day - I'll have all of his dirt here in my yard. I have enjoyed many a morning in church when I look down at my hands and my fingernails are dark with dirt - evidence of a great day in the garden on Saturday - and that I should probably wash my hands better next time.

10a. When I was a little girl I had to cut down and burn the weeds that grew wild along our fence line in Mendon. Our family did this for years and those pesty plants would come back bigger and taller the next year. Then the USU Agricultural Department along with the Logan City Police Department came and said that Mendon was actually a natural place for marijuana to grow wild, they had a good laugh at us and then they dug them up. I SWEAR WE HAD NO IDEA! I do recall that after we would burn them down, we did have killer hot dog roasts with marshmallows and well, practically everything we could find in the fridge to eat.....brownies, chips, peanut butter... no I'm NOT telling you my address and NO we were not charged with anything.

Ok - there are a million more mysteries about me - but most of you are not old enough to hear them so I'll save them for later. I'm tagging Eric, Erin (Masons Mom) & Mandy M. There are some secrets I need to know about you three....Thanks Bethany!

Hell has just frozen over....don't buy into this smile...

My brother Eric has now established a blog for their family! I love them all like crazy. Eric is my brother, but his wife Terri has been my sister for half of my life! No, it's not what you're thinking - I am just really crazy about this family. I am known to his children as 'Helga'. Helga calls them and leaves them messages in a German accent - a really bad one. (The messages are always colorful and embarrassing in every way.) Their family lives next to my mom - and that can be good and bad. Good because she is so funny - and fun to tease. Bad - because he has now had to drive to where ever she is and get the keys out of a locked car - for a grand total of 7 going on 8 times. When the car is gone - and mom is gone - there is reason to fear for your life! (Eric and I will never get old - and our children will never have to take care of us......) (We both have guns - well he does - we'll have a pact!) We both became Grandparents for the first time within a month of each of our grandsons arrivals (Charlie & Andrew respectively) - so I can't really tease him about his age. We certainly cannot be trusted at Thanksgiving dinner around the our own children - they didn't dare bring dates to dinner because we would always have to show them where the dog bit us. (Neither one of us have any scars but it works just the same.) Eric has been the 'chosen' son(child) my whole life - I actually cannot even believe they tried to have another child, my parents loved him so much. He did have big ears though. I only have one sibling, but Eric was every bit as wonderful as 10 brothers and sisters. (Even though I did all of the work when we were little.) (Ok - I did shoot him in the forhead with a BB gun - or was it the pen I threw at you and it stuck in your forhead?) (Other than backing into the fence with your new car I wasn't suppose to drive - I was a perfect angel) (And to really get your goat - I dated your friends!) Eric's advice to all three of my children at their Weddings was the following: "If you must fight - fight naked. When you're fighting - never answer the door." Eric has a big heart and a kind soul. You'll never meet another person as amazing as him. He is a treasure, and his family is just as priceless. Enjoy reading the adventures of his family at their blog listed in my friends and family, A Bunch A Bowens. I know I will certainly pull up a front row seat for it - enjoy! Love, Helga

Let's get down to the root of things...

I was wondering why in the world we eat Ham on Easter Sunday. I'm all for a bucket of Kentucky Fried - but can't stand the crowds at the drive through. I found a most interesting site of Easter customs. Most of which will NOT be found in the Ensign. I post this because my son-in-law George Doxstader (first name changed to protect him) would be extactic about this tradition. I promise tried to find the music to 'Whip it - Whip it good'.

"But surely the oddest custom used to take place in the Czech Republic, Hungary and Slovakia, where there was a tradition of spanking or whipping of woman on Easter Monday. In the morning, males throw water at females and spank them with a special handmade whip, consisting of eight, 12 or even 24 withies (willow rods), which is usually from half a metre to two metres long and decorated with coloured ribbons at the end. The spanking is symbolic and normally not painful or intended to cause suffering. A legend says females should be spanked in order to keep their health and beauty during the next year."

No wonder Ashley is so beautiful and other than passing out in the grocery store, basically healthy! Gotta go - maybe Marie at the Calendar residence will have my pies finished.... By the way - I found some funeral potatoes, located some corn, found the recipe for Utah Jell-O, planning on putting out Aunt 'Rhoda's frozen buns to thaw, so I guess.... I'll freakin' have to go get a ham....

The tagging of it all

So - I slipped past the purse tagging from Bethany quietly. For those that know me I have the largest purse on earth and it is always full of anything but money. The bigger the purse over the years, the more stuff I found to put in it. Perhaps a visual... In the movie 'Because I Said So' Diane Keeton has a purse in which she has to find her ringing phone. After several scurryings through it, she just dumps it out - THERE - that's the visual. So - I'll just let your imagination work on the things that MIGHT be in my purse. (Besides, only certain people really know where my phone is kept...)

Then - she tagged me again. Since I am surrounded by only one book right now - none the likes of which has as big of words as Bethany's have, I will have to surrender to the literature on hand. (Now if you said magazines....that would be a different story!) She explains the rules as the following: First, grab the book closest to you. Next, open to page 123 and go to the 5th sentence. Then, post the text of the nest 3 sentences on your blog. Finally, name the book and the author. So here goes...

"The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature." President Ezra Taft Benson

The book is Plain and Precious by Beppie Harrison - it's a daily thought book and I found it many years ago. I keep it by my computer because it is full of the things that your Mother might say to you on a really crappy day. Hopefully - the goodness in it will wear off on me someday and my human nature will take a turn for the better.

Now - there is that magazine - "It drags you out of bed on Saturday morning to train when every last one of your friends is still sleeping. It pounds away at you, demanding the most of out of every single workout, and beats you up inside when you fail to deliver your best. It's what separates you from the pack." (Bicycling magazine April 2008 advertisement for N.O.-XPLODE energy igniter and apparently the answer to the 'little voice inside of you'.)

I'm sure the Lord is right - I don't want to be 'of the world'. I'm too tired! None the less.... now, you've been tagged, and I need to go for a bike ride before I Xplode!

FYI - things that must go - the list begins....

FREAKING SPASTIC COUGHING,
NOSE RUNNING,
EYE WATERING, NO SLEEPING,
HEADACHING, BONE CHILLING,
COLDS
must go......
(except for the Nyquil - I quite enjoy that
with a little bit of ice in a glass now....)

...oh and alarm clocks must go too...

Just when you think there couldn't possibly be another cute baby out there....

I have to introduce you to the next GAP baby model. My friend Elaine shared with me her daughters blog and I giggled and oooood and aaawwwwed all over it. Just as good and close to me as my own family - check out this cute family

twomoreseconds.blogspot.com

enjoy - ooooing and aaawing and trying to pinch the screen!

But then again - Mandy and Ryan still might come in pretty close to the cutest also with their adopting idea on their blog spot! Check them out at our 'family and friends' at the right of our blog.

For the hands down winner of cute and cuddly - Grandma's pride will send you to Bethany and Matt's 'Royal blogspot' also listed at the right.

Warm fuzzies for a Sunday night. Enjoy!