Please pass the chips, salsa and spray.....

Well - there are some things you just have to write about.  It started out riding the emotional rollar coaster and ended up on the Mexican Train.  At my age, that's a winner weekend actually.  Going to mom's house means I get to have a sample of what my brother and sister in law live through on a daily basis.  We all wear hats so we don't rip our hair out, we also dawn our mittens so we don't claw our eyes out.  Not to mistake this for a mommy bashing - it's just that she hears about 1% of what you say and remembers less than that.  This week when I arrived, she was sorting cards.  Birthday cards, anniversary cards, thank you cards, and yes the majority of cards she owns are, you guessed it, Sympathy cards.  At 82 she has many opportunities to send those out!  My mom is famous for mailing birthday cards to every grandchild, she always gives them the amount of money for the age they are.  I hope I live to be a 100!  Well - except she would be 150 and they might not have a birthday card that reads "Holy Cow You're Really That Old?"  Not a good age to forget a birthday and have to send a 'belated card' or she might not get to the mail in time.  Anyway - cards sorted - projects completed, Grandpa visited, groceries tucked away, and cleaning complete.... Eric, Terri, Brandon, Erin, Gma and myself settled into a FREAKING game of Mexican Train.  Nope - never played it before, but after starting at 7:00 pm and ending at 1:00 am - there is much to be said about the time inbetween.  For starters - playing Mexican Train with Gma is like - a whole new game every time, explaining it wise.  She wanted to put dominoes on every line, the sideways tiles, and always had to have the celestial white train.  I'm certain in all my years of playing games with my brother - I've never heard so much swearing coming from his innocent little mouth.  Someone (Erin, Brandon and Eric) I'm convinced (I know) had beans at some point of the day and there was NOT enough spray in the can to even phase it.  Actually we put the can down and it just kept spraying it was so bad.  Then - we had to put out post-it notes on every line with a train on it so Gma would know which one she could play on.  This made absolutely no difference at all.  So there we were, tired, playing Mexican Train, gassed out of our minds, watching the attack of the killer spray can, swearing, post it noting everything, and totally having the time of our lives.  Eric declared that we would need to always play games more often... So the next night.... we did it all over again.  I heart my family in Mendon.  I loved that on a weekend that started as awful as life is long... it ended with me being reminded that I always have a brother that loves me, a Mom that sometimes remembers she loves me, and a Dad that deep in his forgotten moments of life - held my hand for an hour and a half.  I was raised in love, I will leave this world knowing I was loved.  I will hopefully leave that love to continue on with my children - love one each other.  Because one day, you'll all need a Mexican Train weekend... and I pray with all my heart, that you have enough bathroom spray.

Changes, and Choices, and Screaming Pregnant Women

This past week my work out instructor made a choice to not teach a certain class at my gym anymore.  You have to realize that this particular instructor (Jen) is amazing in everyway.... teaching over 14 classes a week from step, to spin, to peeeeeeelates to kick boxing, to whatever - she's certified to do it.  She's now going to teach other teachers how to teach - how about that for a cool job.  It's a dream of hers, but it came with a pricetag of letting her class go.  She was worried about her class, that's just how big her heart is.  I was very proud of her, she made a choice that involved making more time for her family.  Not an easy thing to do in our world today - making time for family.  She kept saying that to us - and some were upset by that choice - but I was very very proud of her integrity and her devotion to her family.  The world would have us be so busy with the world around us that those that are closest to us suffer.  The other day - my daughter Mandy asked me how I did it... I looked at her and asked - what?  She said - how did you keep it all together with our family.... It was certainly one of those moments you don't allow yourself to have - but coming from one of my children that lived through my parenting... it meant more that she'll ever know.  My mom, is a beautiful person, and I never went without, but she was also a very social person, I rememeber spending a lot of time with Artice, our babysitter.  I made a vow that my kids would seldom know a babysitter.  Now that they are all adults, I miss them so very much.  I miss the noise and the piles of laundry and all of those dirty dishes... wait - what am I talking about?  I miss their spirits in my home.  I thought of the times I said no to the world, because someone had a soccor game, a concert, or a dance recital.  As I get older, those are the memories that play through my mind over and over - because I made sure that they were put there.  As Mandy left the other night, I told her to memorize every moment of this pregnancy, I reminded her that she will be a wonderful mom, and a great protector of one of God's spirits.  She's concerned about the pain of delivery, (I reminded her of my screaming just for fun), but I also reminded her of one special concept:  Maybe it's so painful for a child to be delivered because they are trying to stay in the arms of Christ as long as they can.  I also reminded her, "Hey if you think it's painful now... wait 'till they are teenagers!"  So to my friend Jen, thanks for 13 years of kicking my butt in class, for choosing to be the mother that you are so amazing at, for making 'time' for those that love you, and for still teaching in the morning so I can still come to class.  To Mandy, yo punker kid, is going to be awesome, and loved, and freaking cute.  Enjoy the journey, you only have a few moments in time, and then they grow up and have babies of their own.  (and hopefully I'll still be going to Jen's classes)

Gosh Freakin' Darnit

It's just cold.  Last night - I had to sleep with socks on - and I have 700 HOT FLASHES a day - so this is very uncommon.  The air is brown, and the snow is brown, and the 20 blankets on my bed are... not brown, but stacked high.  Yes, we do have a heater in the house - but it's not making the grade!  I'm pretty sure that I'll be turning to the last resort... soaking my frozen feetual digits in hot chocolate....   I'm looking forward to a storm on Saturday when it will possibly clear out the Utard Gunk.  I'm certainly a January Depress'ee, and it hits me hard.  So I'm cutting out a huge yellow sun and putting it up in my window to see everyday.  Especially when I'm up at 3 am and - heck - the sun will already be up.  The world is settling around me somewhat..... Ryan started up at BYU again, it's sweet to have a live in Physisist in the house.  The Manda child is delicious with child and has about 10 weeks left.  Her hubby Ryan has gone into Law School World again.  Ashley is busy with her modeling jobs, bridal shots to designer dresses, oh and that full time job in Engineering on the side.  Mike, just needs to come home because it's just not fun having BIG BOB around.  Matt is Amazoning, and Bethany is Speech Pathologing, and Em and Drewski are well, are owning the cutest grandkids ever award, soon to be shared by little Tommy Hawker Merriman in March.  (Loving Elizabeth B in WA for all of her extra loving to them during the week.)  Mr. Hillary designed another part for his chopper.... design to mill to assembly... and me?   Soakin' my toes in hot chocolate... pass the marshmallows.  Cheers on this Gosh Freakin' Darnit cold day.

Finishing Touches

So many memories - so little time and space.  I feel like a blogflop because I am so behind.  I have enjoyed the many comments and visitors to our blog.  Sometimes it's totally spiritual - and the next we're quoting Captn. Sparrow on the Rum issue.  I think that I would just like to post some pictures and let them speak the words I need to say - and then follow up with some closing thoughts.  Although this will be posted days into the New Year - it's literally - and I mean literally the first time I've been able to sit down and play on my new lappy - that my BELOVED kids made sure I had.  (Thanks and big hugs)

Need To Mention Our Turkey Day

Hosted by my Brother and his Wife

In Mendon

Cheers to the Turkies that came - love you all

I missed telling my beautiful Daughter in Law

Bethany - my favorite one by the way...

Happy Birthday - and that I love

every single day you are in my life.

You may belong to your mom - but you

are truely mine in a million ways.

Then... someone special came back home,

this in itself should be a huge individual blog - but

there are many spiritual emotions that I want to

address later on - but for now - here are some

smiles from that moment....

oooo.... and now you see why I do not post

my own pictures without a mask or a plastic nose...

...a quick visit to see Grandma and Grandpa

in Mendon.... (this was a sweeeeeet moment)

still in love

Grandpa lit up like a lightbulb

when Ryan walked in...

he held on for 2 years for just a moment like this

Ryan reported his mission on Dec 26 to our Ward.

Our family from Mendon came.  It was wonderful

to have our family there, and the Merrimans, and

Stimpsons.  It made our Christmas complete.

(Christmas?  Food Poisening... not adding any

photos here - let's just pretend it didn't happen)

We all missed Mike ): and wish him home soon.

Christmas to me can be found in the following

beautiful faces and memories....My Grandbabies,

and my Children and In Law Children...

On Christmas Eve we went to the SL Cemetary

to light our candles on our pioneer ancestors....

and we were locked in....

and it was creeeeeepy.

New Years Eve came sneaking in quietly.

I watched what was left of Dick Clark (: post stroke.

I'm not a fan of NYEve... it's a sad time for me always.

New Years Day - Freakin' Tree Down.

Clean House.

Ready to go into 2011 on

1/1/11

Thanks for coming on board this year.

Looking forward to:

New Baby in the Family in March

Mike home - soon and safe

Finding Nemo

Pretending to do scrapbooks

Rebuilding the Arbor

BYU life for the last born

Skyping from Washington

Survival of the fittest...

Enjoying every moment I can of my

children's lives, grandchildren's lives,

and my parents lives.

Oh - and can I tell you how much I

love this guy?

because there are only two of us,

my brother and I, and I don't think

I could make it through life without him.

Lucky me.

Happy New Year.

Where's the Rum?

WHY is the rum always gone?

Working on that Very Merry....

Well, I have no pictures - but I have thoughts, lots and lots of thoughts.  It's Christmas Eve... in the next room my return Missionary sleeps - safely home, finally.  My grand-kids are sleeping safely in the same state I'm in.  My son Matt and his beautiful wife Bethany are all snuggled up warm.  Preggo Mandy and hubby Ryan are close by.  One would think that this is picture perfect.  It is on so many millions of levels.  But it isn't on one big one.  My daughter Ashley is glued to a phone in one hand and a huge Costco sized box of Kleenexes in the other. There was a pain in her heart that I cannot even begin to describe when I peeked in on her as she talked to him  Not everyone is snuggled down safely together tonight - and with one hour left... it's almost past, and in 25 more hours it's going to be over.... the last time that her handsome soldier will be gone for a Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  I know I should be celebrating SO MANY BLESSINGS (and I really am!!!) - but my heart still reserves the right to miss the only member of our family not here.  We are so close to that family picture - where everyone is holding on tight to each other.  Secrets out now... but I drew Mike's name for our gift exchange.  We always e-mail out a little list of fun things under our amount we've set to give clues for the givers.  What could I possibly send him?  Courage?  Nope - has tons of that.  Patience... are you kidding?  Hope.... I always send him that.  Love.... he hears her voice every day.  He asked for a blanket and a pillow.  When I saw his list - my soul changed.  We really need so little in this world - a little warmth, a little courage, an ample supply of hope, a little patience, and a huge amount of LOVE.   There will be no little noises of hushing in the morning as little feet tiptoe to the tree to see what's there.  It's  awful to be an adult and know that Santa has many other places to be, except your house this year.  So, instead of  boxes of things, I pray that my children will know of my never ending, tender, sincere love I have for them.  Here's wishing all of my beautiful children LOVE, on this Christmas.  Love for each other - the kind that cannot be lost no matter the miles between us.  "I'll be home for Christmas - if only in my dreams."  ... for just one last time.  (Then no body in my family can go away again ok?)  (or very far at least) (:  Watch over our Soldiers - keep their Mother's, wife's and children gently under God's tender watch.  Merry Christmas  Mr. Hillary, Matt, Bethany, Andy, Em, Ashley, Mike, Zoey, Mandy, Ryan, Somebody Lincoln Merriman, Ryan.  Merry Christmas Mom and Dad, Eric, Terri, Betsy, David, Charlie, Tyler, Brandon, Heidi, Kate, Erin.  You are my world, my greatest gifts.

** Missionary coming home post - to come - holy cow - we've been freaking busy.....""

Yellow ribbons....

 Well - I bought them a month ago... I've looked at them a million times since... and now it's time to put them up.  I've been trying to reflect over the past 2 years, and the events leading up to this day.  I'll miss Sunday night e-mail's and Monday afternoon return e-mails.  I'll really miss the Postal workers in Sandy - who have laughed so hard at the way my packages look when I mail them.  They kept reminding me that they are actually suppose to be flat or remain in somewhat of a square shape.  I'll miss literally standing by the mailbox on Thursdays, just in case he was able to get a letter out while doing laundry on P-day.  But I think I'll live - since it will be so much more fun just walking into the next room and having one of our great conversations.  I don't know if you remember Ryan's voice at all - I do - because before he left he left me a message on my cell phone - a long message about why he was going - and how I was to stay strong, about his love for his mom - and then he bore his testimony to me.  All recorded - played back over and over again.  Don't know if I'll ever actually take it off of there.  I have appreciated those that have written to him - he had a lonely mailbox for a while - but my ward and my family - have been wonderful, you were much appreciated.  I am reminded of a good Mission President - President and Sister Walker - who were truly inspired in many ways, and who I hope will keep Elder Hillary in their memories somewhere.  Lucky for me I was able to hear about some 'amazing' companions... Especially Elder Edmunds (who will be returning to the BYU Football team soon!), Elder Cortez, and many more.  Your smiling faces will adorn a Missionary Scrapbook - that hopefully will be completed before Ryan's children go on their missions!  We have been blessed with those that have come into his life, Elizabeth, Jessica, Lucy, Stephanie, Rustin, Vicky... and many others - that have listened to the messages of hope and love - and have welcomed Elder H (Bashful) into their lives.  I  personally have been able to be sustained many days and nights over the course of the years by the sweet Spirit of the Holy Ghost - comforted through times where I just could not find the answers or the way or the days or weeks or months were just too long.  I try to look at myself spiritually - have I improved at all?  Am I the kind of mom that can welcome back into my home his amazing spirit?  I hope so - since my best friend is the Lord, I think I've kept good company over time.  There will be much adjusting, many stories to tell, several bowls of cereal consumed at one sitting, and of course.... movies and technology gadgets to catch up on.  What I look forward to?  Looking at those eyes again - one green, one blue.  I certainly will be checking out those scars from the hospital trip from a couple of years ago and getting a full update on his health.  I will absolutely enjoy kneeling in prayer with him again.  I will sit back over the holidays and watch my children gather again, to see their love and respect for each other.  His siblings and in law-siblings are a huge support system to each other.  It will be good to see him as as adult... he left just a mere 19 year old - and this past week became legal - to drink eggnog - (sorry - Ashley said the rum was gone).  There will be challenges ahead for him.... we'll be holding our first annual "BYU Tuition Bakesale"  You are all welcome to come over and I'll make waffles for at least 2,200 people at a dollar a waffle... (:  I will be looking forward to seeing him hold his Grandmother and Grandfather in his arms again.  They both tried their best to make it until he came home - they were troopers in every way.  I am proud of this kid.  The world stands before you ready to be explored and made a better place.   You have certainly Returned With Honor - and as tacky as that line is, it's almost a rarity in the world today.  Thank you Elder Hillary - for being that warrior.  Tomorrow at 3 you will be released from being a Missionary - that will be a hard moment in time - for you have come to live and love it.  The next missionary in our family will be Andrew.... or.... maybe even me.  (:  I am grateful for all of the prayers of love guidance and protection in Elder Hillary's behalf.  The tender mercies of the Lord is evident in every way.  I'm off to put a few ribbons up - and find my Kleenexes..... Has anyone seen an airport?  Mandy??  Welcome Home Elder Hillary - my countdown on my blog is now complete as of tonight.... Hum.... might have to start another one..... any suggestions Ashley?  

Leggo My Preggo

Ya - my baby is having a baby.  But for today - let's celebrate her 23rd Birthday!!  My amazing daughter in law Bethany always posts the cutest posts about her kids - and lists things that they can do and fun facts about them.... Maybe I could think of a few... hum.....

1.  Pregg-o

2.  Nutts-o

3.  Bake-o freak

4.  Spiritual-o

5.  Kind-o

6.  Beautifulish-o

7.  Cook-o - (different from Bake-o freak)

8.  Support your local Law Student/Wife-o

9.  BYU-o

10.Faithful-o

11. Musical-o

12. Can't let her near an open wind-o in a car.

13.  Naming the child Jaffar-o

14. Can go almost 5 minutes before having to (yet again) pee-o

15. Hard worker-o

16. Prayerful-o

17. Owns awesome In-Law-o's

18. Incredible Seester-o

19. Holds the record in loudest burp-o (ever)(it's just a phenomenon)

20. Already a beautiful sweet tender mommie-o

21. Know's all of the Utah Jazz-o's

22. One of my 4 favorite kidd-o's

23. And just for you Ryan M - my Number One Punker-o...... (:

Have a beautiful day doing your 'audit' at Noodles... tee hee.. and remember the precious soul you are.  Beauty that is found inside and out is priceless - rare - and yet is found in abundance with you.  You are so very loved by your family.  You are a wonderful sister, aunt, grand-daughter, and especially daughter.  Soon, you'll be a mom - and you'll know the love you can have for a child is unexplainable - and strong. May your 23rd year on this earth - be as outstanding as the previous 22.... Much Love - Oh Happy Day Mandy.... xoxo Mom = Bob