Yellow ribbons....

 Well - I bought them a month ago... I've looked at them a million times since... and now it's time to put them up.  I've been trying to reflect over the past 2 years, and the events leading up to this day.  I'll miss Sunday night e-mail's and Monday afternoon return e-mails.  I'll really miss the Postal workers in Sandy - who have laughed so hard at the way my packages look when I mail them.  They kept reminding me that they are actually suppose to be flat or remain in somewhat of a square shape.  I'll miss literally standing by the mailbox on Thursdays, just in case he was able to get a letter out while doing laundry on P-day.  But I think I'll live - since it will be so much more fun just walking into the next room and having one of our great conversations.  I don't know if you remember Ryan's voice at all - I do - because before he left he left me a message on my cell phone - a long message about why he was going - and how I was to stay strong, about his love for his mom - and then he bore his testimony to me.  All recorded - played back over and over again.  Don't know if I'll ever actually take it off of there.  I have appreciated those that have written to him - he had a lonely mailbox for a while - but my ward and my family - have been wonderful, you were much appreciated.  I am reminded of a good Mission President - President and Sister Walker - who were truly inspired in many ways, and who I hope will keep Elder Hillary in their memories somewhere.  Lucky for me I was able to hear about some 'amazing' companions... Especially Elder Edmunds (who will be returning to the BYU Football team soon!), Elder Cortez, and many more.  Your smiling faces will adorn a Missionary Scrapbook - that hopefully will be completed before Ryan's children go on their missions!  We have been blessed with those that have come into his life, Elizabeth, Jessica, Lucy, Stephanie, Rustin, Vicky... and many others - that have listened to the messages of hope and love - and have welcomed Elder H (Bashful) into their lives.  I  personally have been able to be sustained many days and nights over the course of the years by the sweet Spirit of the Holy Ghost - comforted through times where I just could not find the answers or the way or the days or weeks or months were just too long.  I try to look at myself spiritually - have I improved at all?  Am I the kind of mom that can welcome back into my home his amazing spirit?  I hope so - since my best friend is the Lord, I think I've kept good company over time.  There will be much adjusting, many stories to tell, several bowls of cereal consumed at one sitting, and of course.... movies and technology gadgets to catch up on.  What I look forward to?  Looking at those eyes again - one green, one blue.  I certainly will be checking out those scars from the hospital trip from a couple of years ago and getting a full update on his health.  I will absolutely enjoy kneeling in prayer with him again.  I will sit back over the holidays and watch my children gather again, to see their love and respect for each other.  His siblings and in law-siblings are a huge support system to each other.  It will be good to see him as as adult... he left just a mere 19 year old - and this past week became legal - to drink eggnog - (sorry - Ashley said the rum was gone).  There will be challenges ahead for him.... we'll be holding our first annual "BYU Tuition Bakesale"  You are all welcome to come over and I'll make waffles for at least 2,200 people at a dollar a waffle... (:  I will be looking forward to seeing him hold his Grandmother and Grandfather in his arms again.  They both tried their best to make it until he came home - they were troopers in every way.  I am proud of this kid.  The world stands before you ready to be explored and made a better place.   You have certainly Returned With Honor - and as tacky as that line is, it's almost a rarity in the world today.  Thank you Elder Hillary - for being that warrior.  Tomorrow at 3 you will be released from being a Missionary - that will be a hard moment in time - for you have come to live and love it.  The next missionary in our family will be Andrew.... or.... maybe even me.  (:  I am grateful for all of the prayers of love guidance and protection in Elder Hillary's behalf.  The tender mercies of the Lord is evident in every way.  I'm off to put a few ribbons up - and find my Kleenexes..... Has anyone seen an airport?  Mandy??  Welcome Home Elder Hillary - my countdown on my blog is now complete as of tonight.... Hum.... might have to start another one..... any suggestions Ashley?