I Love Drewbug, a Bushel and a Peck....

I think that as much as I loved being a 'mom' in my life - I always had this desire to be a 'Grandma'.  It would mean that I would then be old, and in a rocking chair with doilies on the arms of the chair.  I might smell like Vicks vapor rub, and wear my glasses down on my nose.  I might have my knee high nylons rolled just below my knee caps and I might doze as I was watching my grandkids.  Ok... so that's not happening.  I'm Nana - to this little guy, Andrew's Nana.  Today celebrates 4 years of becoming a Nana, and for the amazing arrival of this little boy in the lives of the Hillary and Stimpson families.  Oh what joy this child brought - a bit of heaven, and a touch of... well... his dad.  He changed our lives. and brought our two families into a close knit devotion to this child.  Never the less - my life will never be the same after laying eyes on the first of hopefully many many more grandchildren.  I had forgotten how small they are, how fun they could be, how sweet and also a bit sour smelling they can be - when they just arrive from heaven.  Andrew has been a delight to watch grow up.  Just a sweetheart - then jumps right into being a pill... and I love every single cell of this child.  His expressions and his curiosity and his energy are second to none.  I am blessed beyond belief with this first of 3 or maybe more.... one never knows what's baking in an oven somewhere... grandchildren.  Drew - I hope I never let you down - I pray that I can leave you with a memory or two now and then.  I'm expecting great things from you.  I believe you will change the world one Lego at a time.  Stay close to Heavenly Father, always be a Sunbeam for him, and be a good son and brother.  Lucky me, I have you.  I think of you every day, and I hope to be able to experience life with you as you venture out in the wonderful world of being 4.  Happy Birthday little one - I love you, a bushel and a peck... and about a million hugs around the neck.  Love always, Nana..... xoxoxoxoxxoox

The Good and Bad of this Day... rantings of a tired old lady part 13. (I'm pretty sure there are at least 12 previous ranting posts)

Dang it - I'm in a funk.  I'm looking at that half full - half empty glass and I'm just not snapping out of it!  I don't know for sure but several things are packed in my 'monkey on my back' backpack and I'm just draggin' them around with me.... Is there a drop off for some of these things???

1.  Brought everything I could up from the basement (yeah I've started the project!)... only to find that behind the boxes that were down there - was a broken pipe.  Good:  because it could have been a nightmare, Bad:  it postpones the mess being removed from the TV room.  (I'm now a candidate for Hoarders)

2.  One of my missionary families had their home torched in a fire - now they are randomly disbursed around the valley and I have NO IDEA how to fix this mess!  Good:  because they need to clear out the bedbugs (?) (yerp), Bad:  because now they will be lost to the next ward who will never love them as I do.  (I'm now on the "you didn't fix it" list, and  Hoarder)

3.  I'm SO TIRED of missing my workouts that distress me and having to end up going to the gym at 8 PM - YIKES - I should be at the kitchen counter eating cookies at 8PM not shaking my Zumba bum!  Then I head into Yoga where I'm perfectly aware that my chin can never touch my knees.  Good:  I did do a killer tree tonight - kind of a weeping willow tree - but never the less a tree pose), Bad:  I will not walk tomorrow.  (I'm now a "limping, you didn't fix it, Hoarder"

4.  I'm just kinda of in a ticked off mood tonight.  I registered for my favorite cycling event and then I had to read about all of the sissy wa-wa's that didn't make it in!  Ok sisters of the cycling hood - you KNEW when it was, you KNEW the time to crash the web with your requests, and you KNEW that of the 10,000 women that tried to get a spot that only 3500 would get one!  Good:  yet another year with Ashley as I watch her fly by me and laugh (no bees in your shirt this year ok?)  Bad:  Is there another 100 miles in this poor body?  (I'm now a "complaining, limping, you didn't fix it, hoarder....)

5.  Most of all - I just wanted a Coke from McDonalds - I counted my change from under the seat of the car and in the ash tray.  Ok - so it was 6 am - but it was the Coke to last all day Coke.  Make it to work on time (awesome) and my first drink of this soothing drink of death - was interrupted by the fact that it was indeed, a Diet Coke....  It was a simple request, a desperate moment, and I realized that I have no coping skills anymore.  Good:  I have room to improve on my skills, and had less caloric intake, Bad:  I actually drake that awful ewish.  (I'm now an ewish, complaining, limping, you didnt' fix it, hoarder....)

6.  My mom called and said she wanted to go to the rest home and bring dad home to take care of him.  This was the last straw.  This broke me.  I wish more than life itself that someone loved me that much that they would want to bring what was left of me home and love me like that.  I have no problems, I have no complaints, I have no room to whine.    Good:  The Lord works his magic on me in the strangest ways.  Bad:  I need to be reminded way to excessively that I need to be a better Daughter of God.

Tomorrows Goals:  Serve better, clean faster, drink less (maybe I'll have to think about that one) Love more, complain less, be kinder to my soul - be a better neighbor, find my missionary family, trust the Lord more on lessons I need to learn, talk to each of my children, tell them that they are loved.  and.... I'm going to try to be a more grateful Hoarder.....

To be or not to be.... is a long drawn out process

I've started a new adventure.  It's taking it's toll on me and already I'm afraid.  I am taking things out of my basement and going through the 'keep or toss' game.  Of course, if it's mine... I keep it.  If it's maybe Del's Road and Track magazines from the 1500's - toss.  I have had quite an emotional time of it all actually.  I've already brought up a room full - sorted and cleared the room - mostly clothes and such that FOR SURE will come back into style... ya right.  (tossed)  I found several unfinished projects that still need to be addressed. (keep).  Part of the journey included boxes that I filled with the kids childhood things, like assorted toys that they particularly liked or were special to them.  Matt claimed most of his box, before the mice did - lucky for him.  The other boxes were sealed tight.  I thought perhaps that I would have the kids over for dinner, let them go through their boxes, and then take home what they wanted to keep - ok - because 3 of the 4 have their own places now right?  That way the pressure is off me to make the choices of - yes - keep or toss.  Ryan returned home on Friday night for a visit - I had just pulled up his box - and as he opened it he said exactly what I had hoped to hear years ago when I sealed up the boxes.... "Wow - I just had a flood of memories mom!"  (did I call that or what?)  Some things we think are important are just not after many years - and the things that eh - so so... become that which we treasure.  The items in the box do not make who we are but they represent a part of us as we started out on this journey of life.  The items become their own chapter in our books of memories to be savored.  I love being a childhood memory hoarder... I'm way to sentimental, and an obsessive pack rat to say the least.  I've been taking out items and just smiling from ear to ear - remembering when, remembering the dreams I had for my kids, and the good and bad times experienced.  To see them now - and to see what is in their boxes - just make me drift back into time, and to be grateful for those moments in life.  Now - of course there are other critters living down there - the mice have moved out - because they didn't like the living quarters (death traps and poison), but the spiders LOVE it down there.  Each day (and believe me there will be many days of this adventure still to come) I promised myself I would do ONE thing of significance.  Yesterday - being the Sabbath and all - I needed to keep it kind of spiritual cleaning.  So.... I sent 12 spiders off to the afterlife - and hopefully they are happy to see the pearly gates of heaven.  Well - that is if they are dead yet - you see, I sucked them up in the vacuum and I believe that they will eventually eat each other inside the bag.  Good times.  How refreshing it was to not have to decided to 'keep or toss' those spiders.  My mom (Grandma June) would sleep down there in the summertime when she would come to stay.  At our nightly prayers, Mandy asked Heavenly Father to 'Not let the Black Widow Spiders get grandma downstairs."  Needless to say - it was pretty quiet after the prayer (I call it pondering....)  I guess I should have believed mom when she said, "Something kept going across my face!"  I kind of picture her being like Frodo on Lord of the Rings when he's all wrapped up in the giant spider web cocoon.  Well - here's to cleaning, to tossing and keeping, to the memories we make and keep and keep and keep.  Did I mention that there are 2 special boxes down there with MY childhood things in them?  (nope - no scary clowns....)  I hope that my memories will always choose to stay in my soul.  Perhaps, I'll drag out those old diaries from 2nd grade when Nolan Gunnell was my recess boyfriend....  unless the spiders have wrapped them in a web.  Happy Memories - Happy Hoarding.  Maybe they should do a show on it.... (;

Loff my other kids....

Today - I read a quote that said:  Do you have enemies? Good, that means that you stood up for something you believe in!  I thought about that - I don't per say have any enemies - unless someone hurts my family - then you've earned your place on my list.  I went to RS today - and I heard a teacher say, "I've never had a daughter, I've heard that it's the closest relationship ever.  (she had 4 boys) Then she said, I have 2 daughter in laws and well - those girls are hardly like my own daughter - you know - most daughter in law's aren't... haa tee hee..."  I raise my hand and said, "Then you either have the wrong daughter in law's or - you aren't trying hard enough to be a good mom in law."  I instantly made and found an enemy.  I told her of my very own daughter in law... I prayed so hard to get her, I watch her raise my grandchildren with amazing skills, and the most important thing, that she loves my son unconditionally - and believe me - he's given her many reasons to question her love!  (oh - nothing too off the charts)  I said that I knew that she was suppose to be a part of my family - just like my son in law's are meant to be.  Bethany started calling me mom a long time ago - I give credit to her kindness to her own mom, and grandma who taught her well.  I told this teacher that these are the mothers of our next generation - and that I honored and loved my in law children very much.  I recieved a phone message from Bethany one day - it's still on my phone - she talks of our relationship - and it brought me to tears because of her kind words.  How lucky I am to have in law children.  They are someone elses child - but they are also my sons and daughters.  Kinda shut that sweet sister up... I mean really?  I haven't had a mom in law - well - I have one - but my life was never a part of hers.  I always felt that I failed her in some way, but I always loved her son and her grandchildren and her great grandchildren.  I say - her loss, my heartache.  So - I know you are all out there worrying about in law kids - sorry - I did get the best - but try hard to make that relationship special.  When mine and my children are all in the same room - I cannot tell them apart.  Each one, I love, each one I believe in, each one I trust, each one are irreplaceable.  I promise to always be there for you, I promise to cheer you on, I promise to thank your parents every day that they allowed you to be a part of our family.  Thank you Bethany!  Thank you Mike!  Thank you Ryan!



I've got skills.....

Today I practiced my blonde skills.  I always lock every single lock and put chairs and tables in front of the door when Del travels - I'm a freaking scaredy cat.  Ya - I might look all mean and stuff - but inside - just a bunch of fluff and fright.  I always sleep with every single light on too.  The TV must be going, and I always eat waffles.  Ok - so now you know.  My skills came into play tonight when I looked at the door knob going to the garage.  Del has some fancy scmancy door lock going on there because of his garage obsessions.  I swear I'm my mom - but I've never REALLY looked at this door knob closely.  But last night I locked it and thought it was strange that the knob twisted on the inside - but was obviously locked on the outside (leading into the garage from the living room).  I ran out for a second to the garage and the door shut behind me - locking me inside the garage.  Now remember, the toys are out there, so that also means that there is industrial sized locking devices on the big garage door.  There I was - locked in the garage - phone inside on the counter - husbands plane not in for 5 more hours.  First - I blamed Del for buying such a stupid door knob. That at least made me feel a little better.  (:  Then I thought of yelling - well - like anyone would hear me - not.  I considered cleaning the garage for a few hours.... it's spotless - remember it's Del's world out there.  I pondered defrosting the freezer?  I even ventured into the forbidden land of:  Taking a nap in the Viper?  But with certain death to follow if I chose the latter option I decided on escaping.  Behind the Tools of the Trade that my husband has is a small window.  I knew I could get out of the window if I could just get to it.  After finding several things to stack, and pulling up the 20 year old, never been opened blind... I decided that it would be better if I froze to death in the garage than to pass through the spider webs, bug carcasses, and unknow creatures huddled in the corners of the window frame.  I felt like my options were limited - so I tried to remember what the spiders looked like so I could tell the Emergency Room doctor after I had been bitten, and I jumped out the window.  (at this time I'm seriously laughing because all I can think about is Ace Ventura - Pet Detective - when he's trying to climb out of the butt end of the rino.... ya - you know what I'm talking about)  Never the less - I did it - found the hidden key hidden under the "the hidden key to the house is under here" rock and let myself in the front door.  About an hour later a spider web breezed off of the back of my sweatshirt and touched me on the cheek...... screamed like a sissy.  When Del arrived home - I told him about his stupid door knob - and he reminded me - I was blonde.  Good times... what a pretty spider....

.....and you have 24 hours to do what?

Cleaned the house

Moved the furniture

Christmas away

8 bags of leaves hauled away

Groceries

Hair fixin' and coloring

(she wanted to hid the gray..... at 82)

(now she looks like a cute little old hooker)

Screaming at the Jazz on TV

(I loathe Kobi)

Trail Mix and Orange Juice - oh my!

Brandon hugs

Yes we got the mail

Yes we got the mail

Yes we got the mail

Bills written

Care Consultant Meeting for Dad

Danced with the wheelchair gang

Cried over Renee passing

Cried over Uncle Wendell passing

Cleaned out garage

4 trips to Logan

New clothes to Dad

(with name included to insure they will

still be there when they need to dress him)

Tacos

Bismark from Schmidts Bakery

ok... maybe a maple bar also

Cokes at McDonalds

Tour of the town to see who's still alive

Visit to the dead

Fed Ex Picture making session

("I've never been to Fed Ex")

(she's been there 3,000 times)

Seeing the camel, the zebra and the Llama yet again

14 ARGUMENTS

24 hugs

Missed the wild turkeys

(everyone should experience the turkeys)

Long tearful ride home.

Just 24 hours with Mom

Priceless

Today?

JAKE!



Loved this....

We went from this...

To this.....

and I am JOYOUS!

We had some of the following:

Which made me smile...

We experienced this...

Which made me giggle.

We made a miracle happen....

By getting the entire Bowen Hillary family together

for a long overdue picture

My parents

My Brothers Family on the left,

My Family on the right.

A whole lot of love all together.

We started with grandparents

added some grandkids

and added some amazing in-law grand kids

and provided some entertainment...

put the Grandkids together

Tossed in a few Great Grandkids

Found Eric's Family

Thought mine was pretty awesome

(insert Ryan)  (Gotta Love Ryan)

and then partied at Mom's/ Grandmas/ Great Grandma's

(all the same person)

with Pizza, Ginger Cookies, and loud laughter

25 family members - made this day happen

(Thank You)

(don't worry Emma - I won't tell your mom!)

We ended up on our last night together at Temple Square

with Mike, Ashley, Matt and Bethany and Grandkids.

Perfect night - perfect week - Love my family

more entertainment

We said our tearful goodbyes in front of the temple.

It was a great week to be a mom, and a grandma.

My date for New Year's Eve.... was the saxiest man in the bunch.

practiced for their New Years Eve Kiss.... more entertainment

Loved this... love them... lucky me.