Post Floaty Info - or perhaps TMI..... ?

(post amazing picture here)

(Not - because of my stupid camera)

 

Just in case you thought we didn't have any fun over Labor Day weekend....

We did!

We took our 2 college students, our Musician, our Chemical Engineer, and our Rocket Scientist, and the BOB, and floated down the Provo River.  We only killed ONE fly fisherman - a record!

After we passed by - there were NO FISH for miles no doubt...

Although there were several moments of hysterical laughter,

sun burnt legs and arms,

and several dunkings....

The winner winner chicken dinner was...

Mandy...

Standing up in her tube singing,

'Just around the river bend'

from Pocahontas.....

In her bright pink tank top,

and her arms in the air...

we all peed..

wait - ok - not in the Provo River

I promise.

Then we ate JDawgs

in our wet clothes,

and smiled at our choice of activities

and giggled.  a lot.

xoxoxox

The Corn Fest... and Dad.

My family camera has become my worst enemy tonight - but my story is still my friend.  It was corn weekend at our house.  My brother Eric planted 17 rows of corn in dad's garden and he shared them with our family, it is always greatly appreciated.  The timing of getting to Mendon and getting everyone there at the same time - was off - so we went to plan B, or I guess I should say plan C for Corn eh?  He delivered it 1/2 way and we loaded up the back of the car with all of those glorious cobs of Ambrosia corn.  Labor Day - years past has been spend on a lake in the boat with gale force winds rocking us to and fro... and it would have done so this year again - if we still had the boat, and we were actually on a lake.  The family traditions  on the Bowen side have been to gather up the corn harvest, shuck (love that word) the corn, bring it to a boil, and plunge it into the cold water, then cut it off and freezer bag it before it even knows that hit it.  Everyone helps, everyone goes home with a share of the golden pile of freaking yum.  Sure - Pinterest would make you believe that there are 400 ways to do it better - but we don't repin those.. (:  We all have our special knives, and cutting boards, and techniques... just ask anyone that was there. Afterwards, without having to dock the boat... or the nonboat.... we break out the grill and cook up some kind of burger fest and eat.  Del and I looked at each other after our beautiful children left that night - and said - "That was the best day ever" and it was true.  One by one they all got it - the importance of love, and family, and precious time together.

 

Doing corn - has always been a part of our lives growing up.  My dad would have loved this year just as he did all of the other 65 years of family corn fests.  Losing him at 84, might have almost broken the corn chain, but Eric, and I refuse to let it get us down.  My kids were raised on Grandpa's corn - and the stories of doing it each year never change.  It was a little melancholy this year, just knowing he was gone.  But deep down - this day was not about corn to me - and I'm pretty sure that my dad knew what he was starting years ago when he planted that very first corn seed he stole from the Del Monte field on the other side of the road (shhh.... don't tell)  Realizing that he knew that after he left - he could still be a part of our lives.  He taught us to work hard, to gather as a family, to share the harvest, and to teach our children about the wonders of nature around us.  He never wasted food, or time, or a quick reminder to 'cut as close to the cob as you can'!  As we gathered on Monday, there was more going on than just corn... (enter 12 amazing pictures of the day here - dang it)  There was a beautiful little baby girl making her first corn appearance, and she was passed around from loving arms to loving arms.  Jake was getting the hang of potty training down - and had earned a car.  Ryan M was enjoying NOT having to go to school the next day, but Ryan H and Katie were contemplating the early morning alarm to start another college year.  Mandy and Ashley were on comic relief, Mike was serving his duty to his country, Del was in charge of getting his turn with Baby Mack, and I was just watching the magic of my Dad come to life.  It's not about the corn... it's about  this beautiful family, who had a million things that could have been done that day that was more fun, more exciting, more fulfilling - but chose to carry on something we all treasure.  Corn Day. Dad, I know you were grinning over there quietly in the corner.  You haven't come to talk to my heart yet since you left, but your presence was everywhere on the hearts of my children, my family that I love, and that I know you love too.  Until next year, please pass the butter, the salt and those stupid things you stab into the ends of the corn so you can eat it without 3rd degree burns on your fingers..... harvest memories, and your shelves will be full always and forever. 

Abundance.....

Seriously folks - have you ever seen anything so dang cute?

My cute daughter in law, Bethany (currently harboring my next

beautiful grandchild due in December) took the cutest pics for me.

This just has to be my favorite.

Don't touch me

She's breathing on me

I'm being so perfect

Is anyone holding my head up?

 

Moments in life that

make Life worth while

right here folks,

In Abundance....

 

 



Some good 'Old' news... (:

Hello there.... ya it's just me.  I'm missing my blog and the opportunity to write from my heart.  I thought I could take a huge chunk of my blog and explain my feelings but I have found them to be extremely personal and quite painful still.  But there are such wonderful things going on around me that it's important for me right now in my little corner of the world to freaking start cheering for life again.  So I made some changes... and I like them... let me share what's been going on.

 

I have always felt like I was just a seriously loser mom in the fact that all of my kids have Bachelors and some even Masters Degrees from a Major University (BYU and UofU)(We bleed both colors).  It was joyful and painful to see them walk those stages, knowing that I would never get the chance to do that.  But perhaps I could at least make an effort to make a difference in the world somehow.  I've worked retail for 12 years - and I became totally numb to the fact that this was just how it was going to end for me.  Then one day I got really really mad.  I took all of my money I'd stashed away and paid for my CNA/Phlebotomy/BLCPR certifications.  I was prepared to move on - and then my dad died and it all stopped just after completing the courses.  3 days after the funeral, I took my state exams and nailed them - shocking even myself.  I applied at several assisted living centers - turned down Hospice Care, and was hired by a wonderful little place close by my home.  I fell in love with all of the people that took the time to show me the ropes, help me complete my Med Tech training, and give me the courage to quit my retail job.  I will certainly miss my sweetest ever friends from the store, and the memories of crazy times there - but it was time to move on.  In one week - I was hired, quit my job, started a new one - made the shifts I needed desperately, and started my new challenge.  I haven't killed any old people yet - but I'm sure there will be plenty of chances to do just that.  I didn't say anything to many people - because I thought I would fail.  I'm not one to be yahooing too much about succeeding.  But that old cliché, "When God closes a door - he opens a mall somewhere else..." really fit the bill here.  I'm kinda really freaking old - and I don't have a great desire to rack up a 13,000 school bill for my nursing degree just to be too old to work it - but until that day comes - I've felt more love from 60 over 80 year olds that I've ever felt before.   Just as you turn out the light after you've tucked them into their beds they say, "Nicole, will you be here tomorrow?"  I remind them that I wouldn't miss being here - because I've waited forever to do just this little thing I call, mattering.  Thank you mom and dad for teaching me all of those old songs - they are like golden nuggets of comfort for little old people that no one comes to visit.  Never felt so old - never felt so happy, never felt so good.  Now... every time I see the little old lady walking down the hallway with her purse waiting for her family to come, it's my mom to me - and I cry like a baby.  Somewhere - someone is taking gentle care of her I pray.  I promised my kids I would never get old - but until then I'll care for those that didn't make the same promise.  Sorry... I should have made this "Brief" but how about from now on we get off the pity party posts - and have some good old fun eh?  Thanks for your patience.  I'm back.

Almost there.... maybe.

Elder Busche once said:  "When you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now.  But know also that as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better."  This thought has carried me for the past two days.  I've felt a lot of love from my kids and from my close friends.  I have appreciated the kindness, the moments of letting me just be quiet, and tender words of encouragement.  I have appreciated Elaine.  I have appreciated Paige.  Thank you Roxie, and Dianne, and Marilyn, thank you Jane.  Thank you to my employers who sacrificed many hard hours of work in my behalf.  I have beyond words appreciated my amazing kids.  Please know of my gratitude.  My best friend in the world has been my Heavenly Father.  This was not a time to blame God for anything - it wasn't a time to question things, it was a time to gather in his Spirit, and quietly sit with it, and feel it surround me.  This was the safe place for me, when all else failed.  The more I hurt, the harder and more I serve - so the badge went back on and there were heartaches beyond any of mine to tend to.  Every time I serve, no one knows - but God knows, and while I serve, he weaves his love into my heart, he quietly slips joy into my soul, and he very carefully eases me into forgetfulness of my pain.  To those in my Willow Canyon 7th ward - you are angels.  To my Relief Society President who said exactly what she should have said - and came at precisely the right time... thank you for listening to the Spirit.  I loved that my sweet friend Kathy sent over a gift card to go out to dinner.... you'll never know how wonderful that was... no dishes. My heart is almost new - I'm not rushing it much, it's going to take time and patience with myself.  But apparently I'm worth it to the Big Guy up above.  Now and then I still whisper, "Dad", but I still cannot utter the words 'Mom' yet.  I talked to her for a brief moment the other day.  I told her that she was called on a special mission - to teach everyone around her the Primary Songs - because not everyone knows them.  She said she wouldn't let Heavenly Father down.  I believe she won't.  I was born of goodly parents.  "Give" said the little stream.  I know my Father lives.  I'm trying to be like Jesus.  I am a Child of God.  I (believe) they've called me on a Mission (still) Families are Forever.  Teach everyone you meet mom ok?  But don't let dad hear you sing - because he hates musicals.  'Till we meet again...."



Just need a little time...

The world has exploded on me.  I have watched the pieces of my heart fall off and crash to the ground.  I'm not ready to talk about it yet - I'm not really myself right now.  There is a lot of anger.  But healing over the top of that is faith.  Just give me a little time and my new heart will talk about it.  Before the world crashed God sent me a priceless gift that has been waiting to meet my blogging world... So today celebrate the wee little princess that graces my life as my precious wealth of grandchildren arrive on this earth - this year... I get a bonus round in December  (any guesses?)

Thank you Mike and Ashley for giving me a bit of heaven so close to sending someone there.

My beautiful preggo Ash

Mackenzie (macadamia) (chickadee)

 

A few thoughts about our world right now....

Eric Bowen

• When you stop and think of just how important families really are, it is significant to know that it all starts with goodly parents... We are the seeds and they are the garden... They water us with love and compassion and protect from weeds and insects... Then we grow and mature and we become the fruits or vegetable in that garden and we share ourselves with others as to what we have become... Then is is our turn and the garden grows older and moves on for the next planting...
  
  Yesterday, we learned just how precious that garden is as my 83 yr old father has taken a turn for the worse after being disabled by transverse miolitis some 13 years ago... The last two days he has fought to hold on with labored and rattled breathing even though we have reassured him that we are fine and that is OK to go...
  
  This old tough Marine has fought a good fight and continues on even when we left tonite...
  
  The most difficult thing is that I just couldn't tell mom about it yet... She likewise has been sick and coughing and sleeping all the time... she just doesn't feel good either... Today at the doctor we learned that she has pneumonia in her right lung... The doctor said that she needed to go the hospital now and then I told him that her husband was at death's door... This compassionate doctor gave her a shot of Amoxicillin and a prescription to follow through with it because SHE had to be with her husband... with a mask on, but she needed to be there... Should she get worse, it is off to the hospital...
  
  This was the most wonderful experience that could have ever happened... After the doctor and lunch we went to the Sunshine Terrace to see dad... Before we went in, I explained to mom that dad had been sick a couple of days and not to shocked with what she saw... She said that she would be OK.... Tears streamed uncontrollably down my face as I escorted my mother arm in arm down the hall to where my dad was struggling so... As she entered the room, she was calm and loving... I was a mess... She walked over to his air gasping body and place one had on his shoulder and one on his face where he lied in bed and just looked at...
  
  I told her that dad was not doing well and that it was time for him to go home... Tearfully, she said the most marvelous and loving thing... She said, "Yes, I know that it is time.... it's time for Freddie to go home... Whatever the Lord wants, he can have."
  
  SHE KNEW!!! She accepted it, and although she was sad at that thought, this remarkable woman was ready to let go... Can I tell you just how comforting that was to me??? Do you realize just how much I fretted telling her??? She already know... It that spirit touching spirit, or what???
  
  A ten or fifteen minute visit turned into four hours of reminiscing and remembering... My sister, Nicole, was on speaker phone and we all felt of each other's pain... but gloried in the moment...
  
  Many wonderful and spiritual things have occurred the last two days, and these are too sacred to mention here but we know from whence we came, where we are doing here and where we can go... His Plan reigns triumphant!!!
  
  So on this night and I prepare to post this writing and prepare myself for the passing of my great father, Frederick David Bowen, I give thanks for the opportunity I have had to be with my dad, and even more important (should my dad pass during the night) it the fact that mom got to see her husband for one last time... And may your prayers be with my mom tonight... She needs your prayers and strength...
  
  I love you dad and I love you mom... Please Dad... Go home.... It's time to see your loved ones on the other side... If I am not there when you go, let it be known that you have forged me into what you wanted me be and I thank you... Good night, Dad.

Nicole Bowen Hillary:

Well - I guess I'll be speaking first - because I won't be able to after you do. It's 12:05 AM... dad has made it through to another day - I've got his fishing reel all set up - and pulled out his hip boots - just waiting for Uncle Bob, Grandma and Grandpa Bowen and maybe even Grandma and Grandpa Hill to show up here. Sunshine Terrace - you hired the most compassionate and tender nurses and CNA's. I arrived at 10:45 after making sure my affairs were straight at home. They have a blanket here for me - some snacks and they are just as emotional as I am. The spirit in the room here is because my brother made sure it was here.... Rick Shelton and the Bishop gave mom a blessing - and the spirit is so strong. This is now a sacred place - a place where the other side is nearby and the hand of our families on the other side will reach through and take him home. Fishing pole, hip boots and all. I know he's still here because he pushes his cheek into my hand when I tell him I'm here. He's so handsome. He's such a gift. I talked with Eric today about what we have learned. We have learned a deeper kind of devotion, love, and acceptance of the Lords plan on this earth. Sometimes I think that perhaps he had a talk with God before he came to earth and said... "If you'll just give me a little spot of land, a few animals, a beautiful wife, a little house, a couple of kids and give me a few wonderful years with them... I'll spend the last 12 years as you need me to spend them. Both of them held up to their end of the deal. It was hard being far away today - but the closeness of our family through our words to each other - was priceless. We read the last verse in Enos... we believe that. As I sit here with him... his heart is racing, and his breathing is kinda freakin me out (: why are you still here dad - is the only question I have left for God. Are they to leave together? We've talked about that - Eric and I. We've said, when one goes - the other will follow quickly. Dad has such a crush on mom...and she loved to irritate him by putting coconut on his chocolate cake. He said it tasted like cardboard. We weren't sure if he meant the coconut or the cake. It's pretty close to the time that we will gather our families, and our memories and we will dress up in our best clothes to honor him. We will say our words of comfort for each other, and we'll sing only one song (because dad hated, loathed, barfed over musicals) and then we'll gather at the base of those Mendon Mountains and we'll stand there hand in hand to say good bye. I'm sure that it will be hot standing there in our hip boots.... but for dad - it'll be worth it. I'm waiting Grandma Bowen..... daddy is ready. Come on in...but leave me a butterfly kiss on the way out so I know it was you. Love you Eric, Love you Mom... Love you Dad.