It would be less painful if you just ran over my foot....

CAUTION: THIS ENTRY IS NOT FOR THE OVERLY SPIRITUAL

God is angry with me. He had me called to be the achievement day person. So I thought if I at least waited for a day I wouldn't use ALL of the swear words I wish I could. I really don't like children - well - maybe my own, and their spouses (because they have good ones), my Perfect Grandson, my immediate family (Betsy, Brandon, Heidi (sometimes) Kate (if she doesn't have purple hair) and Erin - ok - and David, and Charlie -but that's it) (after they became adults) and Mason (right Elaine?) (Ok and Erin, and Kale, and Marc). Those children I love. (you all know I'm kidding about this, sort of) So if you are in my ward and you are reading this - don't be hatin'. 8 girls, 2 show up. 8 girls, 3 show up. 8 girls one shows up at 4:35 (when it started at 4:00 and we were going hiking), and was angry that we didn't wait. I can't compete with ballet, soccer, piano lessons, and day care. The Daddy Daughter Date is coming up - since when did we encourage premature dating? Can't call it the DD Date because one doesn't have one - and we can't make her feel bad.... (Might I call it a Harvest Medley of Disfunction?) One said that her dad didn't get home until 11:00 PM and could we have it after that? They told me they wanted to go to Moab and camp? They also said that they would probably come more if I planned some fun things to do now and then. (At this point I am considering a shot of whiskey) (I wish) (not really) (ok sorta) (don't worry I won't) (because I just don't have any) They called me to this job because they said "you'll be so fun!" FUN??? I don't want to be fun! I, myself need adult supervision!!! Remember these girls are from ages 8 - 12, and I'm suppose to find activities to entertain and enrich? Whatever happened to freaking Girl Scouts?! I actually pulled up the description of this job - that's some funny reading! I know that the first talk for General Conference will be about Achievement Days. I'm a bettin' kind of gal - I say the odds are good. Now I must go an repent for the whiskey comment, plan a party for dads to date their daughters (Radio from Hell would have a hay day with that one- hmmmm.... there's a theme!) and gather any slight hint of a testimony that this isn't just a conspiracy theory against people that DON'T have children in Primary any more - or Young Women, or Scouts.... Please don't write me any comments on the blessings of Achievement days...... I (seriously beyond words) would hurt you for that. I'm a true believer that parents should teach their children the gospel and stop panning it off to people during the week! (and respect, if they could just muster up a FHE on respect...) (and gratitude - please give me a few chapters on gratitude) (I don't want to fix what they broke first!) (these ( ) are me thinking evil thoughts outloud on my blog) Wait - caller ID says.... It's the Bishop on the line.... gotta go.... (like seriously change my number)

You know at the airport when....

....they ask you, "Has anyone tampered with your luggage?" Well at our house we need to always keep an extra eye on our cameras. I have CD after CD of Mandy's adventures with my camera. Now I come upon one where she had corrupted our precious Ryan. He has fallen to the dark side. No - these are not special needs children. (But one might consider DNA testing) Enjoy my children as I exploit them on the internet. (PS yer mom luvs ya jest the same)

These children will be on sale to the highest bidder on sellyoursillychildren.com just after I create that website. Where's YOUR camera?

Just have a Ball!

Military Ball - a chance for us all to see the delicious Michael Doxstader in full dress uniform. (Yum) Not to overshadow the power of the military - might I just mention the beautiful date he had that night, all 5'11" (ok - 6'2" in heels) of his sweetheart Ashley! Last year they enjoyed the night and it was - fun and all - but this year they knew so many more people there and they dominated in the hot and gorgeous, and also the most fun bunch to be with categories. It was fun to see Ashley dress up for the dance - Mike bought her beautiful pearls to wear and there was significant amounts of time devoted to 'high maintenance'. My heart just stops when I see them like this. It's wonderful to see the relationships that my children have and the beauty of the love they all have for their spouses. So I thought I would just share some 'hottta' pics of them before they left. Just a side note - a dozen or so of them stopped in at Maggie Moos for ice cream afterwards and the (you know how I love) teenage girls at the counter said, "Like, um like um, are you guys going to Prom er somethin?" Mike keep the concealed weapon, concealed...

Can I get a description of your dress?

Working at Lifetouch Photography is quite hysterical sometimes. We work the High School Dances and some of the outfits are outrageous. (Most of the time we hope that the girls don't drop anything because we DON'T want to see them bend over and pick anything up....) Sometimes we have questioned the High School 'learnin' system as we hear comments by these teenage wonders. Ryan was working with us on Saturday night at Skyline High. We are to identify pictures by the color of dress worn by the female party of the two. Ryan asked, "Can I get a description of your dress, you know - explain the color?" She looked at him really funny and her face lit up and she said, "Well, like, um, like, um it's Sparkley and Fun!" So by darn - that's what Ryan wrote. We're headed to Taylorsville High - could someone warn them ahead of time? My funny for the day - have a sparkley and fun time.

9/11 - 7 Years - where were you?

Remember? I was just headed into the Jordan River Temple - Ryan called me (then a 12 year old) and said that something blew up and it was all over the TV - I told him to not be late for school - never thinking the impossible had happened. I told the ladies in the temple that something horrible had just happened, and I felt bad that I took that spirit into the temple that day. During my session at the temple - they started closing it and sending people home. I don't remember most of the next several days afterwards, I just watched it over and over and over again. I wanted to keep my children close to me. I wanted to scream out loud, but I had to look tough for my kids who needed someone to be strong for them. I didn't sleep much. Anything that was ever wrong in my life would never be as bad as this. Over the years the images creep in my mind, and that's not a bad thing - it reminds me why I grateful that we have the freedom to mourn, and honor people, and try to make it all stronger. I mourn for those that never got to know their fathers or mothers. I honor those that serve our country (love ya Mike). I try to make it stronger by teaching my children that you still need to stand tall, put your hand over your heart and say the Pledge of Allegiance with conviction - and heck yes, wear that little flag pin on your jacket lapel... You all might not like Bush - but I think that he did what he needed to do - and I would hope that the least of us would be able to stand up and say - let's go get em'. Don't forget to walk through the healing field flags again today - you've had 6 years to do it - hope it never gets tiring. Being a part of setting up the flags over the years found me in tears yet again. Today sky was a brilliant blue again - beautiful and peaceful - ugly can happen fast. 9/11 stop and think - where were you?

Hangin' with Andypants

Grandma's day with Drew and after a graveyard shift at work there needed to be a leisure shopping trip to Toys r Us. Drew picked out several purchase options and I liked his taste in toys. No sharp objects Drew.... Age Appropriate Please... Matt called me and asked me to pick out some 'noisy toys for church'. Gotta love Matt... We checked out a wagon, jumbo leggos, and GI Joe - Matt said - NO HELLO KITTY! Hey Matt you had Tory growing up - your Cabbage Patch Kid!

Drew decided on the Little People Farm Animals. Bethany said he could hardly wait to play with it! Don't tell your parents I bought you Fries and a Coke at McDonalds Drew - it'll be our little secret! (ya right!) Thanks for visiting Grandma today - thanks for the kisses and slobbers - and for making the world just a better place to be today. See you next week! I think the Harley Shop is open!

Oh my Gosh Bob!

Happy Freakin' Birthday to you,
Happy Freakin' Birthday to you,
Happy Freakin' Birthday Dear Michael,
And you smell like one too.....

Oh Hey - It's Mike's birthday today - and so I must drop a note in about him on my blog. Michael fits into our family so perfectly that I cannot even remember when he wasn't a part of us. He is a gentle giant and a warm wonderful husband to our daughter Ashley. You can be around Ashley and she's all happy and smiling - but when Michael comes along she turns into this bright, brilliant glow - she's crazy about him - and you want to be around them because they always have their magnegic personalities in warp drive. Mike has come to my rescue many times. Whenever I have a bad day - zap - there's a beautiful flower delivery waiting for me when I get home. One time at school when the world was caving in on me he came into the room full of faculty members and our principal and he brought me flowers and stood by me. Needless to say - looking Hottata in his military yummies. I love that he has never ever let us down with his promise to take care of Ashley. His mom said that he was a true blue guy and he has lived up to that. I have loved this guy, worried about him, prayed for him, laughed at him, pinched him, and cooked for him. Pinching being the most favorite activity mentioned here. He is small when complimenting his accomplishments (2 tours of duty, training special ops, another tour probably in the wings, and serving the Lord on his mission), and yet large in stature - 6'4". He is the scariest person in the world if you harm anything he loves, and yet as tender as ever when he plays with his nephew Drew. He is Grant's (one of his other nephews) hero in every way, and he is a good one to have. So Michael - I just wanted to say Happy Birthday - and that you are truly loved by our family - and have been a wonderful, handsome, sweet branch to add to the family tree. You didda good Ashem. Time to hit La Costa and celebrate - 2nd set of chips are on me....

so Ashley - how about gettin me those weddin pics eh? Love to show them off....