CAUTION: THIS ENTRY IS NOT FOR THE OVERLY SPIRITUAL
God is angry with me. He had me called to be the achievement day person. So I thought if I at least waited for a day I wouldn't use ALL of the swear words I wish I could. I really don't like children - well - maybe my own, and their spouses (because they have good ones), my Perfect Grandson, my immediate family (Betsy, Brandon, Heidi (sometimes) Kate (if she doesn't have purple hair) and Erin - ok - and David, and Charlie -but that's it) (after they became adults) and Mason (right Elaine?) (Ok and Erin, and Kale, and Marc). Those children I love. (you all know I'm kidding about this, sort of) So if you are in my ward and you are reading this - don't be hatin'. 8 girls, 2 show up. 8 girls, 3 show up. 8 girls one shows up at 4:35 (when it started at 4:00 and we were going hiking), and was angry that we didn't wait. I can't compete with ballet, soccer, piano lessons, and day care. The Daddy Daughter Date is coming up - since when did we encourage premature dating? Can't call it the DD Date because one doesn't have one - and we can't make her feel bad.... (Might I call it a Harvest Medley of Disfunction?) One said that her dad didn't get home until 11:00 PM and could we have it after that? They told me they wanted to go to Moab and camp? They also said that they would probably come more if I planned some fun things to do now and then. (At this point I am considering a shot of whiskey) (I wish) (not really) (ok sorta) (don't worry I won't) (because I just don't have any) They called me to this job because they said "you'll be so fun!" FUN??? I don't want to be fun! I, myself need adult supervision!!! Remember these girls are from ages 8 - 12, and I'm suppose to find activities to entertain and enrich? Whatever happened to freaking Girl Scouts?! I actually pulled up the description of this job - that's some funny reading! I know that the first talk for General Conference will be about Achievement Days. I'm a bettin' kind of gal - I say the odds are good. Now I must go an repent for the whiskey comment, plan a party for dads to date their daughters (Radio from Hell would have a hay day with that one- hmmmm.... there's a theme!) and gather any slight hint of a testimony that this isn't just a conspiracy theory against people that DON'T have children in Primary any more - or Young Women, or Scouts.... Please don't write me any comments on the blessings of Achievement days...... I (seriously beyond words) would hurt you for that. I'm a true believer that parents should teach their children the gospel and stop panning it off to people during the week! (and respect, if they could just muster up a FHE on respect...) (and gratitude - please give me a few chapters on gratitude) (I don't want to fix what they broke first!) (these ( ) are me thinking evil thoughts outloud on my blog) Wait - caller ID says.... It's the Bishop on the line.... gotta go.... (like seriously change my number)
9 comments:
Let me share some blessings about Achievement Days.... j/k... you know you are writing what we all think. Thanks for being real! Luv ya.
I'm in the primary presidency and somehow you just taught me that achievement days is part of the primary... maybe I should read my handbook of instructions. I find it interesting that a short time after baptism and graduating to the senior primary, kids just seem to get attitude and brain damage (a Bill Cosby-ism) All I can say is good luck. I'm glad we're on the list of loved children. And I think your fun (it's too bad you and my dad can't compare scars for an activity - it would be memorable and entertaining).
Would Cubs be any better? (Just wondering--I sure wouldn't want to try it myself!) I have a hard enough time with the 8 nine-year-olds on Sunday. --Bethany's mom
DOUBLE AMEN, sister!! I don't know what to tell you, except "better you than I". PS. I live across the street from the Bish and I'm currently printing a copy of your blog for him. Can you say "disfellowship"? Oh well, you'd have more time to spend with kids (see your own list) that appreciate you! PPS. I know where you can find whisky....PPSS. No one knows who "pitbull" is, right?
I know who pitbull is!!! mwa hahah!!!
you will be awesome!! I would love to have my sweet Sarah in your group. If we lived in your ward I would arrange her schedule just so she could be there. We love you and miss seeing you at WIllow Canyon.
Mandy don't worry - I KNOW where Pitbull lives! Gotta know where your best friend lives always...
Little girls can be amazingly snotty, can't they? One little girl in our class today almost made me cry; I used the excuse that Andrew was sort of semi fussy to take myself out (with Andrew as a decoy) until I was no longer emotional!
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