Points of Light

It's Christmas Eve.  This is my 600th post since I started blogging.

The house is very quiet.  There are no little children here anymore.

It makes me cry.

I still have totes of decorations I have not put out and about, and it's strange to not see them displayed.  My Santa collection is in one of the totes, and that's ok.  There has been much going on as of late, and it's taken most of my Thanksgiving, and now my Christmas - and I'm just tired.

But inside...

there is Peace.

We serve as Inner City Missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  This is a calling made by the Church to serve as Service Missionaries - to those in need.  Many of our friends have been called to these positions - and we thought when we were called that we would go and do our best for the 12 months and call it a day.  We were called to a different mission than most of our friends - it's hard to believe that this exists somedays.  But we're almost two years into it now - and there really isn't an end in sight.  I'll just talk about my experiences a bit here - because we really aren't too public about it.  Most of our families we work with are protected by the state - some are trying to keep safe from abusive spouses, some children are protected from abusive parents, most are without jobs or homes, or hope.  It is not a calling of sunshine, but a calling that have introduced me to the concept of

 'Points of Light'

 

I have learned that I can stand inside the front door of a crack house and find a child within 60 seconds of a door opening to get it taken out to safety.

I have learned that a Utah Cockroach is - really big.

I have seen food being hidden in pockets, because it's their next meal.

I have listened to a mother verbally slam a child into a muteness, and a dark corner to hide.

I've seen children sleeping on the floor year after year.

I go to the Homeless Shelter to make sure my best friend is safe.  My only protection is my badge.

I have heard the screams on the phone of gunshots being shot through a home from the street.

I have filed a missing persons file when a mother and 2 children go missing after the little ones watched their gangster daddy take out mom physically.

I have had hundreds of texts from a woman terrified to death of who is pounding on the door in the middle of the night, in a place we are not allowed into after 9 pm.

I smile and wave to the police guarding the door of a threatened family from a gang.

I have seen the bottom of a mans foot showing through the bottom of his shoes.

I ached when the food money was used for smokes and booze.

I cried for a young boy who was caught shoplifting food because he was hungry.

I have walked the halls of the church house keeping pedophiles away from the nursery.

I have held a sobbing woman who just sold herself for rent.

I am aware of Satan's greatest tools.

Some of you may think I'm kidding... I'm not.

I've seen him face to face.

 

But I choose to see the 'Points of Light'

I see a home ward opening their hearts and wallets to provide warmth and gifts for little children.

I see a School Teacher teaching her children about giving - and watching those kids spend their own money for a pair of slippers for an old man, or a gift for a child that has never had one.

I see bags of clothes donated to clothe entire families.

I've seen 4 turkeys at a Christmas Party feed 300.

I've heard the most abused person in our Mission, open her mouth and sing like an angel.

I've seen the poorest of men offer his warm hat to another.

I've been offered lettuce found in a dumpster because they had nothing to offer me.

I've felt the warmth of tears on my face from someone that never knew anyone cared.

I have heard the smallest voice stand and bear testimony that God lives.

I've watched a Bishop tend to the needs of 800 people in one ward.

I've seen the Missionaries fed by a family that used their food order to feed them.

I've seen pennies, dimes and nickels from adults paying their tithing.

I've heard powerful priesthood blessings being given - to the point that you open your eyes to see if the Savior is standing there.

I've seen courage beyond belief from a homeless person with a 4.0 grade average.

I have seen the Glory of the Gospel, and Heavenly Angels ministering to this ward.

I have found, that I have so much more to do.

 

So... The Santa's didn't make it on the shelf.

There are no presents under the tree.

The lights never made it to the outside of the house.

I still drive to my mission with a Coke in one hand and a bowl of cereal in the other.

I still work graveyard shift right before I go to serve.

I sometimes sleep in sacrament meeting.

I mostly say I'm done on the way to serve early in the morning,

and I cry all the way home saying - I'll never give up.

I take on whatever needs to happen - which is usually always an emergency.

But if I can just try to be better, and give more, and complain less, and trust in my Savior more,

I think that someday, he'll see my tiny point of light.

 

Pass It On

Peace Good Will Toward Men

 

Merry Christmas my beautiful Children.

I miss your pitter patter of running up and down the stairs

to see if Santa has arrived.

You - have been my greatest gifts of life.