Grandmas List

Things that must be packed before grandma can visit EVER again....

1. Batteries for the hearing aids. "Huh?" is not a complete sentence after 1,500 times. (You think I'm kidding don't you...)
2. A coat - it's freaking winter in Utah. Hot flashes cease to exist after 75 years old.
3. Sunglasses that are not 4 inches (not in depth) in circumference. Jaquelyn Kennendy Onassis was buried with hers and I'm currently considering it...
4. "Where are we?" "Which way is East?" will be written 100 times BEFORE you come to my house.
5. Reviewing the names of MY children - Ryan is not Brandon, Ashley is not Heidi, Mandy is not Erin..... (there will be flash cards made)
6. One piece garments will be one item left home. (HOLY BUM MOM!) (:
7. An alarm clock - for waking you up at church, during conversations, during dinner, and during stop lights. (although screaming loudly "We're all going to die" woke her up really fast!)
8. A legal letter stating that it's OK to have all of those narcotics she takes on an hourly basis - and must be taken with food.
9. A promissory note indicating that she cannot corner my husband and have a conversation with him - after she's taken the narcotics.....and food.
and the final item....
10. Flagulation medication must remain on the things that must be LEFT HOME!

GRANDMA WE LOVE YOU! THANKS FOR THE VISIT - COME AGAIN SOON!