Well, it's kinda like this....
Not feeling oh so hot on Thursday night - thinking I must have snarfed down the taco I ate... going through the night thinking - could I just die and get it over with.... at 1:20 am I'm walking around the block trying to get whatever is blocking the lower half of my body.... at 2:00 wake up Mr. Hillary and remind him that I'm dying yet again... walking some more.... going into work (what was I thinking)... picking up a few groceries in case I do die, Mr Hillary will have cereal..... sleeping it off for a few hours.... Stupidity sets in as I buckle over and still straddle the Harley for a 2 hour ride around the Provo/Park City loop - oh my it was beautiful though... getting home to sleep it off yet again... deciding that I've found enough change in the laundry bags, between the coushions of the couch, and under all of the beds to afford InstaCare... getting totally chewed out by a doctor (that I've known for many years and why she's at this particular InstaCare I'll never know)... who screams at me that she cannot do tests like this at 8:30 at night.... so I get up off of the table to leave and she won't let me (like I was going to sit there and take that)... reminds me that my bacterial levels should be 2-3 and mine was at 11... trip to IHC in Murray for a CT scan... (remind me to look behind all of your couches and laundry bags to pay for this nightmare)... drink the drink of death, CT at midnight... results show FREAKIN APPENDICITIS and that it has to be removed, asap - and then finding out that the doctors are are war with each other and I have to wait until 6 am but can't sleep because they think I'm like preggo of something and have to check if I'm dilated or something, no cokes or food or anything - just late night TV.... 6 am - surgery, THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR!!!!!, I remind them that I have not shaved my legs - they say - that's not what we're shaving and then they say - oh - you already have (Must have been out of my mind), BOOM - I'm gone and awake and they have stripped me of my dignity and my appendix, and they send me home on some great drugs, which is why I can write this whole blog entry without any periods, and have learned the following lessons.
1. Conference is so much better on drugs - because it will take drugs for me to get over the texting talk. Holy Cow people - leave us some joy!
2. Water skiing at 8 months is a cake walk after this.
3. Always wear clean underwear.... or ... wear underwear.
4. If you are going to have an extended visit to the hospital - pack your own cooler of drinks.
5. Remind the nurse that discharges you to take out the IV before you are wheeled down the hall. (what a dork this lady was - seriously - she was El Stupido! (Where was Laurie Canfield when I needed her?)
6. Love your Relief Society President everyday girls - mine called and asked if she could bring sweets and clean my undies. I love you MK xoxox
7. As hot as my husband looked last night - Narcotics make him look like a rock star.
8. Someone tell my mom that I did not have another baby. She's so confused at 81....
9. Ashley can cook - she can buy beautiful flowers and she can be convincing holding a gun telling the stupid discharge nurse that YES my mom WILL need painkillers before she leaves...
10. Texting after above mentioned narcotics - is hysterical.
Well - up and at 'em and back to work tomorrow
(you think I'm kidding)
(we have couches at work with money in them somewhere I just know!)
Back sale to be announced for funding of
above mentioned events....
2 comments:
So glad you're doing better! Tried looking in our couches to contribute to the fund, but all I found were fishy crackers.
Love it, almost like drunk-texting.
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