Father's Day, he's where?

Ya know, it's difficult for me to celebrate Father's Day actually.  My dad isn't quite sure who he is, let alone that I'm his daughter.  I cry a lot on Father's Day - for the loss of years, going on about 10 now - that he's been in this condition.  I know that when I do see him, I try with all my might to see if there is a glimps of recognition in his beautiful fading eyes.  But, there isn't.  I rub lotion on his fingers and toes, I sing to him, I comb his hair, I adjust his pillows, and I smile and tell him of my love.  It could be a Thursday or a Monday, it wouldn't matter.  But I love him with all my heart.  I think of the years of grandchildren, weddings, missions, great grandkids, friends from his life, and time with my mom that's been absolutely, one hundred percent erased from his mind.  My mom is true blue to him.  She swears he recognizes her, and she always leaves a huge red lipstick kiss on his forhead every time she sees him.  One day, I know she'll wonder who he is, and that day is not far off.  But they are my parents by darn, and I am so proud of the love they have had for over 60 years.  They've never left each other side until it was necessary for my father's care.  Even then, just try to keep my mom away from seeing him.  I love the little things I do that remind me that I am my father's daughter.  Those are the things I drill into my children's minds.  Next week, when I see him, it will be Father's Day all over again.  Perhaps the next week too.... doesn't matter.  I love him and honor him every day.

I wanted to cheer on my husband being it Father's day and all... but he just left the country.  No worries... he does that now and then.  Sometimes, I see his father in him... sometimes, I just see the father he's trying to be without any influence from his father's life.  Both are good.  He's been a good dad, but a very tough one at that.  He's not my dad - so I don't make a big fuss about it all.  (Seriously folks I didn't even get a mom's day card or anything on mother's day BUT I made sure he got one and a great dinner out)(It's because I'm not his mom!)  I do honor him as a Father though... he knew just when to kick some butts, and when to teach the lessons of life, and just when to allow our kids to grow.  I'm cheering on my children and their spouses to be great moms and dads - and I would always remind them to celebrate the blessings of being and becoming parents.  Grandpa Fred would like you to pass on yodeling, burping the ABC's after a Pepsi, planting a garden, killing the magpies that eat the strawberries, slaughtering bunnies for dinner, cutting tails off of baby lambs, talking with cookies or peanuts in your mouth so it sprays on everyone, wanting you to amount to something, and watching a good western movie on a Sunday night.  If he could tell you that he would.  I heart my Daddy.  I'm his only little girl.  I carry you in my heart always.  I pray somewhere in your mind, you carry a memory of me.

ok - so I'm just going to do it...

...and I'll probably burn in heck for doing it but never the less I present to you....

I'm Not Kidding - The Top Ten Things I LMBO From

"My Religious Service Time"

Part 1

(and believe me I will deny every word of this

if I'm brought before a church court)

10.  At the ward carnival, the best activity suggested: 

spray painting...

9.  Sorry there are no cup holders for your

mug from 7-11 on the benches

8.  Yes, you may have as many rolls as you want,

but please don't forget to take the ones you've put in your

pocket out when you wash your clothes.

7.  The items left out that are marked for the D.I.

are not to be taken home.

6.  Phantom of the Opera is alive and well and playing the organ...

aka:  Spiritual Music should never be frightening.

5.  I couldn't get the braids out of her hair so I shaved her head

4.  How many people live here and who are they again?

4a... couldn't resist this one:

"Hey yo, is that chick yer helping single?"

3. If a person is lying face down on the church lawn,

you can pretty much guess there is a

police man nearby that just handcuffed them.

2.  If you see people trying to sell the furniture

from the church at a yard sale,

let us know asap or just dial 911.

2a.... (because there are so many to choose from)

Gospel Doctrine = weapons optional.

Finally... the #1 magical moment.... (until next post)

You may not pass the sacrament in your

"Stripling Warrior" tee shirt, no, no, no, no no....

When they say "When I have grown a foot or two"

...they weren't kidding.

(I have a lot of growing up to do)

Yours, reverently, with tongue in cheek

I'm going to miss this one.... a lot...

From Bethany's Pictures

1. I fall in love with people easily.  When you meet someone that is visually kind and sweet, and then during a brief conversation you see that what you see on the outside is magnified in their spirit inside, it's bound to happen.  I fell in crazy love with Beverly Mackay several years ago.  She is the Grandmother of my daughter in law Bethany, and the Great Grandma to 2 of my Grandchildren.  In all my years of knowing her - you couldn't have a conversation with her without noticing that she was always smiling.  I don't know how she could talk and smile - but she did.  I know that she's not my direct Gma, but to me she was always Gma Mackay.  I loved it when she would listen to you ramble on and she'd scrunch up her shoulders when she laughed, and then she would return a comment so amazing that you wondered where she pulled it from.  She was always in her big chair, with a TV tray next to her with her mail and her laptop and paper.  Surrounding her in the room were all of the trinkets of her life that remained from her travels.  My Grandson loved her so much that when he had to go to the bathroom... he would do the pee dance, because he wanted to go to the bathroom at Grandma's house!  I loved that story so much when he said it, I hope my bathroom is good enough one day!  When I was told that the cancer in Grandma's body had finally completed all of the damage it could do but take her, I was allowed a brief moment with her last Saturday.  Everyone had left the room for a second and it was just her and I.  I took her hand in mine and I told her that she was truly a treasure to me in many many ways.  I told her that I was so proud of the family she raised, and for the Grand daughter that I call my own.  I thanked her for letting them live with her and for the joy, the safety and the comfort she provided as they finished college.  I told her that I loved her.  She was in total peace with moving on.  She had given so much to this life and now it was time to celebrate, and to wait for all of us to cross over and see her again in her full beauty.  That was last Saturday, and she made that amazing entry into heaven yesterday at 3:00.  I was just getting out of a temple session and I received the text from Bethany.  Well, it was then that I knew who had been in the temple with me that day, busy as she was in heaven, she made sure she said her spiritual goodbyes.  I wanted to hug Bethany and Kathy and hold them tight.  I wished them well, and I prayed for their comfort.  (We kinda just love that Stimpson Family)  But to be able to have the opportunity to say good bye to someone and then have them pass, was such a gift for me.  I've never really had the blessing of doing that.  I've often said that I do not fear death, and to see one go so gracefully, was a great moment in my life.  I don't know who to call now and ask if their refrigerator is running, and then have them laugh all over again as I ask them to go and catch it... I don't know where I can go and just knock and walk right in and visit with an angel.  I don't know who I'll look for in the temple, and be greeted with that beautiful smile.  I'll miss her stories and her insights, and her quiet ways.  Yes, I stole a piece of her and I'm going to keep it with me always, and remember what grace, beauty and sincere Christ like love, is all about.  When my grand kids want to talk about her, I'll have a few stories to tell them.  Take the time today to fall in love with someone like Beverly, and oh how vibrantly rich your life will be.   

The Book of Mormon - NOT the Musical....

I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (you know, the Mormons) my entire life.  I've have many, many opportunities to study and read the Book of Mormon through out my life.  At the beginning of this year our Bishop (Bish Stewart) passed out a reading chart to our ward.  The youth of our ward are going to go on Trek this year and he wanted them to all have read the book before going.  He encouraged the parents of the ward to read also... and eventually it turned into every single person reading as one, the same scriptures and chapters each day.  There was a lot of pressure to make sure that you didn't get behind, but obviously it was ok to read ahead, you know - those competitive members... (ok - me).  Each day I prayed to have the spirit to understand the words I would read.  Each day I asked Heavenly Father to let those words I read be retained my my fading mind, to help me recall them when needed, and to feel the comfort of the truthfulness of the words I read.  This little piece of paper has controlled my life since January.  I know that there are those that did the whole 'read it in a month' but I would have missed so much of the tenderness, the guidance, and the spirit of the messages.  Today - marks the last day of my reading.  I will finish Moroni 10, and I will take the challenges spoken of there, and once again, I will be reminded of who I am, what I need to represent, and what I need to share with those around me.  It's a remarkable experience, one that I would love to have you experience.  Pick up this book, and let it fill your soul.  I have so much to change and learn.  My tesitmony is different after reading it this time.  I'm pretty sure it's about the 'seasons' of our lives as we read it.  I've read it with my small children when we could only get through a verse, or a little bit of a chapter.  I've listened to it on my I-Pod while riding or working.  I've read the pages of my own book many times.  I will read it yet again very soon.  Just wanted to extend a challenge to my children.  Read it, Read it again.  Read it with your spouses and to your children.  And to you, if you are reading this... You read it again also.  I pray it brings you great joy, and an enormous amount of comfort.  It did for me.  Besides... what's a little bit of reading... compared to what he did for you and I?  I Believe.  Do you?

Mandy.... could you hear them pop?

Mandy!  Hello there child that is living far away but having wonderful adventures!  I wanted to share this with you because you wanted to know when they popped!  I thought of you in the WA Biotanical Gardens and I wished that I could have seen all of the beautiful sights there.  But here in the little back yard on Edgecliff, we have a spectacular view of the Poppy Popping.  Just wanted to share it with you, and to say how much you are all missed.  Can't wait to hear about the next great adventure!!

Sure beats the heck out of that Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree eh?

Loves from Utah.

Loves from your mom.

Eh? Just 3 plates?

Dear neglected blog... I hate the 'catch up blogs' with a vengence.  Don't you?  So I've decided to focus on that which I love the most to blog about and let the rest go by they wayside.  Note to self:  Don't post what you'll post about soon - because the pressure is just too much.

3 weeks ago this little man and his mom can to stay with us.

Big J's dad earned an internship from BYU Law School to work in Washington DC for 3 months.  But, Mandy is a member of the Utah Wind Symphony (move over Symphony Orchestra), and her final concert was 2 weeks after Ryan was to be in DC.  So we were thrilled when Mandy said that her and my beautiful grandson would stay for the 2 weeks, hit rehersals and the performance!!  There was nothing but sweetness in our home - this little guy owned the entire house.  If  he made a peep we were all over it!  We all had to be at work during the day and it was wonderful to come home and find that Mandy had made our home shiney clean every day.  At night we would snuggle with baby J and the smell of Johnson & Johnson baby lotion filled the air.  Seriously - is there anything sweeter than seeing your grandson being loved, read to, happy, clean, smiling, and sang to.  I loved every second of this time with him.  Thank you Mandy for making life a bit sweeter for me in well - at least a million ways.  xoxox Big J & Mom.

ok - we are sideways because we are sleeping....

that's the excuse I'm using for my stupidy.

Mandy was AMAZING at her concert - she had a beautiful solo,

and you can always tell when it's her.  The music that girl can make is

B E A U T I F U L!

Ashley came to help or fight over holding Big J who was a trooper.

We were able to listen to a selection of music of which

the composer was there - a very very rare opportunity.

Afterwards we snapped a picture of him with Mandy...

and in my comments.... Mandy will spell his name for me!

The next day - 2 of my children were now out of the state.

The following Monday these two little critters came to town!!!

What in heavens name did I do to deserve such

cute grandkids?  I LOVED that they came to visit!

Emster is about 2 minutes from walking...

(just do it already!!)

Super D is talking up a storm and has

super powers.  He loves Garbage trucks, so

we spent a couple of hours drawing chalk

ones in the back yard on the patio.

Nope.... not ever squirting that patio off!

We decided to go to the zoo,

and we just had a riot.  Emster loved looking

at the animals because they were't stuffed, they

actually moved.  Super D went on the

Merry go round, and chose the peacock.

It did not go up and down, it just sat there.

I said - do you want to go on the up and down

animals?  He said - no I want this one, so you

can sit next to me.  (sigh)

There were animals to see... and holes to dig...

what?  yep - no animal could replace the

digger....

some animals didn't move at all

just sat there - all red....

and afterwards... there was such a silence

from the back seat we had to turn around

and check on them....

We finished off with some serious Ice Cream Cone

Eating Lessons - (loves to you Bethany!)

It was tough to say good bye - I had already cried a river

the week before sending off Big J.... now these two were

leaving.  But - lucky me - they are going home with all

of my love - and hopefully a memory or two.

I heart my grandkids

I heart them with all my heart

With Mike and Ashley in California...

that left me with only 1 child left in Utah!

So today we set the table with only 3 plates

and even though it was a Sunday,

and I had served as a Missionary all day,

I said....

"What the eff, we need more kids!"

and Del ran from the room.

Big Breath... hold it.... hold it.... here we go.....

Nutshell Item #1 -  Way to kick some butts Eric!