Ya know, it's difficult for me to celebrate Father's Day actually. My dad isn't quite sure who he is, let alone that I'm his daughter. I cry a lot on Father's Day - for the loss of years, going on about 10 now - that he's been in this condition. I know that when I do see him, I try with all my might to see if there is a glimps of recognition in his beautiful fading eyes. But, there isn't. I rub lotion on his fingers and toes, I sing to him, I comb his hair, I adjust his pillows, and I smile and tell him of my love. It could be a Thursday or a Monday, it wouldn't matter. But I love him with all my heart. I think of the years of grandchildren, weddings, missions, great grandkids, friends from his life, and time with my mom that's been absolutely, one hundred percent erased from his mind. My mom is true blue to him. She swears he recognizes her, and she always leaves a huge red lipstick kiss on his forhead every time she sees him. One day, I know she'll wonder who he is, and that day is not far off. But they are my parents by darn, and I am so proud of the love they have had for over 60 years. They've never left each other side until it was necessary for my father's care. Even then, just try to keep my mom away from seeing him. I love the little things I do that remind me that I am my father's daughter. Those are the things I drill into my children's minds. Next week, when I see him, it will be Father's Day all over again. Perhaps the next week too.... doesn't matter. I love him and honor him every day.
I wanted to cheer on my husband being it Father's day and all... but he just left the country. No worries... he does that now and then. Sometimes, I see his father in him... sometimes, I just see the father he's trying to be without any influence from his father's life. Both are good. He's been a good dad, but a very tough one at that. He's not my dad - so I don't make a big fuss about it all. (Seriously folks I didn't even get a mom's day card or anything on mother's day BUT I made sure he got one and a great dinner out)(It's because I'm not his mom!) I do honor him as a Father though... he knew just when to kick some butts, and when to teach the lessons of life, and just when to allow our kids to grow. I'm cheering on my children and their spouses to be great moms and dads - and I would always remind them to celebrate the blessings of being and becoming parents. Grandpa Fred would like you to pass on yodeling, burping the ABC's after a Pepsi, planting a garden, killing the magpies that eat the strawberries, slaughtering bunnies for dinner, cutting tails off of baby lambs, talking with cookies or peanuts in your mouth so it sprays on everyone, wanting you to amount to something, and watching a good western movie on a Sunday night. If he could tell you that he would. I heart my Daddy. I'm his only little girl. I carry you in my heart always. I pray somewhere in your mind, you carry a memory of me.
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