I can still see my mother with her hair all wadded up on a beehive hair-do, then on top of that she would put a little hair piece. When it blew off the top of the beehive - and sometimes we wouldn't tell her there were leaves and sticks in it - she would just stick it back on. That hair piece is in the entry way of my house - along with the Princess Lea wig from Star Wars. My thoughts of my mom right now are more than her thoughts of me. This is a cruel world sometimes, but both of my parents have 'seen better days'. I don't live next to my parents but the guilt trip I feel of not being there every moment like my brother and his wife have to be..... kills me on a daily basis. I can't fix things and I'm a fixer. I do what I can and it's far from what it should be - but I can't fix that either. What I can do - is keep some good memories alive in me of her, alive in the things I do, and pass on to others. I will forever be grateful that she taught me the art of making the table look amazing - even though there wasn't much to eat to put on it. The power of a giant marigold here and there in the garden - because you had to spread the flowers out. The smell of clean laundry hanging on the line before her neighbors put theirs up. The caring moments of giving to others your share without them noticing. The selfless hours of caring for others needs. I may have failed you in many ways mom- and everyone else - but I won't fail you on the important matters of life.
Thought of the day:
One of my favorite comments I hear is,
"You're just like your mother".
That's the whole point.
I love you June Murray Hill Bowen
Please remember just that ok?
1 comment:
Nic Hillary...You are my idol! Would that I could be just like you!
Post a Comment