There is only one Elaine in my life - she's my BCFF (best corrupted friend forever) and my lifeline for sanity. Today she was so concerned about me that she sent some home remedies to help me along my way. Perhaps some of these will work for you?1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop. (This one will be very helpful for the Holidays if my mom in law visits...)
2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. (Go Aston Krutcher!)
3. For high blood pressure sufferers; simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. (yea! no more pills for me!)
4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. (what if the mouse beats me to it?)
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough. (diarrhea is hereditary - it runs in your genes)
6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. (Just think what you could do with the rest of the garage!)
7. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. (except me - you'll know right away I'm not right in the head)
8. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem. (shocking)
Remember: Some people are like slinkies; not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. (wanna visit?)
Words of wisdom from from my weally witty fwiend, followed by the politically allowed 1 minute or less response from me ....and there you go!
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